My True Self
by CrystalUsagi
Summary: Setsuka dresses as a guy to join the Lights, but what happens when she starts falling in love with Yaten? yay! it's finished!
1. Part One

Part 1:  Setsuka

Angry questioning eyes held mine.  But it was not the anger in Kou Yaten's eyes that made me shiver, but speckle of hurt I saw in those emerald green pools.  They called to me, tormenting me and refusing to let me go.  Why? they asked me.  I thought back…back to the day I heard about the Three Lights auditioning for a fourth member…

         "I don't get why you are so in love with these guys anyway, Kyoka.  You don't even know them!" I said above the sound of the television to my friend and roommate.  I had yet to understand her, and about all the other girls in school's obsession over the Three Lights.  I mean, they were just guys with good voices and good looks.  How could she see anything in them besides that?  How could she be in love with them when she had never even seen the real them? And yet here she was chattering on how hot Seiya Kou was, how smart and intelligent Taiki was, and how dreamy Yaten was. I started to practice on the flute when she stopped me.

 "Shh!" she whispered, " They are going to have auditions for a fourth member!"  She rocked gently from side to side in a dreamy state.  I shook my head as she continued to ramble on about how she has finally gotten her chance at stardom.  I gave an exaggerated sigh.  "Haven't you forgotten that they only audition GUYS?"  Her face sunk.  "Oh, yeah…."  

 "Hey! I have an idea!"  I looked over to her, sure that it would be failure of an idea but hoping to be amused.  "We could pretend to be guys, and once they see how talented we are, they won't care if we are girls!"  I raised an eyebrow.  "We?  What do you mean we?"  She reached out and grabbed hold of my arm.  "Oh come on, Setsuka, everyone knows how talented you are when it comes to singing.  You would win for sure.  Just come with me. Please?"  I pulled away.  "What in the hell made you think I would want to be singing with some fake idols who just depends on their looks to make girls fall in love with them?  For all you know, they could be total snobby losers."

"Come on!  Aren't you always saying how much better you are then those guys?  How you can be more of a man then they ever can?  How you are the master of disguises and how good you are at acting?  This would be the perfect topic for an article!" I thought about it.  Yeah, that would make a pretty good paper.  If I could just do this, I would get major extra credit points for sure; not to mention I might get a chance at school newspaper editor.  

I sighed in defeat.  "Fine, fine.  But I'm only doing this to prove what a great reporter I can be."  Kyoka squealed in delight.  "Yes!  Now we can both go together!"  I raised an eyebrow.  "You still want to dress up as a boy?"  She grinned.  "Sure, I mean, even if I don't stand a chance against you, I still get a chance to see Seiya-sama, and that is all I want."  I shook my head again…she would never learn.

* * *

I looked down at myself.  I couldn't believe it.  I actually looked like a guy.  Hmm…I wonder if that's a good or bad thing.  My long reddish auburn hair was tied back into a long ponytail much like the Three Lights.  I was forced to layer it by Kyoka who insisted it had to be done to make the front short like a guy's.   I had on a black and striped T-shirt and black baggy jeans.  Despite how they looked, I could never have felt more comfortable in these clothes.  

         I slowly walked out of the bedroom I shared with my friend.  "Kyoka are you sure about this?" I asked her one more time.  She turned around and I could see her expression change completely upon looking at me.  She let out a gasp.  "Oh!  Setsuka! You look like a guy!"  I gave her a wry grin.  "That's the idea, isn't it?  And I don't think you should call me Setsuka any more.  You should be saying Seiji."  As we walked out the door to the Mall, where the audition was to be held in front of the public, all Kyoka could do was talk about how different I looked, and that girls would swoon over me for sure.  I am so going to regret this, I thought to myself.  


	2. Part Two

Part Two:  Yaten

         I looked at the clock.  It would be only ten more minutes before we would meet with the three finalists.  I don't get why we have to get a new member anyway.  A usual though, Seiya had to suggest it.  I don't get why we continue to be singers anyway.  Just because the princess told us to stay here and help protect Earth doesn't mean that we have to keep on singing.  

I didn't think I could stand these girls that keep on chasing after us anymore.  It annoyed me that they say they love me when they didn't even know me.  If it wasn't for Seiya's stupid ideas I wouldn't have to be here in front of those screaming idiots.  I took a deep breath.  Oh well, for the sake of Earth I guess I could stand being an idol a while longer…  

         I looked around to find Seiya and Taiki waving at me to come sit with them on the stage.  As I sat down I noticed the three other people on stage with me.  One was a Tall guy who looked like he was about to kill everyone who didn't like him, another was one in a sleeveless muscle shirt and who kept on smiling like he would die if he stopped, and the last was a red-head about my age who wore a black and blue striped shirt.  I raised my eyebrow at his height.  He was probably even shorter than me!  Pretty short for a guy.  But there's something about him I can't quite place…

         The last round is vocalization.  I wonder how the tall guy will do.  Yet shorty might have some trouble himself.  I watched everyone of them carefully as they walked to the center of the stage.  All Smiles was first.  I heard several coughs from Taiki and Seiya.  I tried to hold back a laugh.  The guy couldn't sing for beans!  To save him from further embarrassment, Taiki told him that he could stop.  

         Next was the tall guy.  The song he selected was Music of the Night.  I sat in silence listening to him.  I don't think much of the audience got what he was singing about; but Taiki seemed to be enjoying it.  He concluded with a bow and went back so his seat on the other side of the stage to let us score.  

         Finally the shorty, named Seiji was getting ready to sing.  It looked like he had done this before because he showed mo signs of nervousness and had great poise.  Hmm...well, let's look at his singing skills.  "Ahem," he said with much surprise to us all.  " I am going to sing a song composed by myself called "My True Self."  He has quite a high voice…but not in an unpleasant way.  It sounds pleasant, actually.  The audience quieted as Seiji's voice pierced the air.  I closed my eyes as the sweet but strong melody washed over me.  His voice had a special quality to it.  It sounded like velvet and made me both sad and happy.

"You look at me, and say you love me

         But is it love that brings you here,

         Or do material things blind you

         We have not truly known each other yet..

         How can I claim your love?

         Do you know my true self?

         Or do you only see what is outside

         Please see me as I am

         Because only then can I claim your love…

         Please see me true self…"

How did he know how I felt?  The audience broke into applause as the song ended and I looked at the other two (Seiya and Taiki).  I knew by the looks on their faces that they completely agreed with me.  I stood up and walked to the three finalists.  "We have reached our decision."  I looked that Tall guy and All Smiles.  "I'm sorry, but I am afraid that Seiji is our new member."  


	3. Part Three

Part Three:  Seiji

         I felt like I had just eaten I tubful o ice cream.  No way.  "What did you say?"  I asked the guy with the silver hair.  I think his name was Taiki, or was that Yaten…I wasn't sure.  All I knew was that he had just said that I, no Seiji was the new member of their music group.  "I'm sorry," he said to me with a grin. "I guess what I should say is welcome to the group."  He was kind of cute with his grin I had to admit…

         Oh well, I thought.  Maybe now I would get a story that gets posted up in the newspaper.  I followed Yaten, which I found out from some screaming girls that he was, to go and stand next to the other two Lights.  I was immediately shaken when Seiya, the guy with the black slightly wavy hair trapped me in a bear hug.  He let me go just in time for me to catch my breath and for the other guy to shake my hand.  After that I was taken to the mall parking lot and asked if I would like to talk about stuff at their house.  "Hey, what have I got to lose," I said as I climbed into the back seat.  

         I couldn't believe it when I saw where the famous trio lived.  The house was actually a four bedroom apartment with a big living room.  I looked around. 

            "This will be your home from now on," Seiya said as he flopped down on the couch.  I looked at them in shock.  "You never said I had to stay with you guys!"  Yaten walked over to me.  "Hey, it's not like we are forcing you.  But in order to get to work and practice you are required to stay with us.  You should have thought about that before signing the contract."  Ah! I had forgotten completely about that contract. Why did I sign it in the first place?  Now I was stuck with them!  I couldn't…live with them!  They were...guys! 

            "Are you sure?" I asked.  If I had to live with these arrogant wannabe idols to get my story…I would.  "Yeah, positive," they all chimed in.  I sighed.  "Great," I said, "where's my room?"  Yaten lead me to one of the rooms on the left side of the hallway, next to the closet.  "Here's where you will be.  This is my room across from yours, and this is Taiki's next door and Seiya next to me."  I nodded my thanks and went to inspect my room.  Hmm, this was going to be interesting… I wondered what Kyoka would say about me living with them?  I would also have to transfer to their school, I supposed.  

                                                                 * * * 

         I breathed in deeply.  The apartment was as quite as ever.  The other three had gone out, leaving me all by myself, just like I wanted.  Over the past four days my life had transformed completely.  Not only did girls swarm over me like crazy and screamed whenever I passed by, I have been finding out a lot about guy habits that I never knew before.  

When Kyoka learned that I was to live with Seiya, Yaten and Taiki, she went crazy and nearly choked me right then and there.  Of course she calmed down when I started to tell her that I'd tell her everything that went on and even give her free tickets to all the concerts.  Personally, I was not sure if I could do that, but anything to keep her from killing me worked.  

I closed my eyes slowly and allowed myself to think.  Finally I was allowed some time to myself.  Okay, so I was fine with being with cute guys day and night and getting to see them with their shirts off at all times, but I was always worried about walking in on one of them while they were changing, or worse, them walking in on me.  Fortunately, none of this had happened and I was slightly enjoying myself. 

But I found myself losing cool again the instant some girl came by and said something like marry me or I am so in love with you.  How could they know they loved me or any other person when they didn't truly know them?  I mean, love is something to be nourished and something that grows.  It's hard to make love grow out of infatuation.  

I was surprised when I felt someone sit one the edge of the bed and wave something in front of me.  I opened my eyes to find a grinning Yaten.  "I thought you were out or something," I said, a little annoyed at him for interrupting my private time alone.  "Thanks for the nice hello," he said wryly.  "I was just in my room and I thought I'd come to chat with you a bit."  I was surprised by what he said even more than the fact that he was home on a Saturday night, the fact being that he was a major idol that was "loved" by millions.  

"Sorry, I thought you'd be out.  After all, there are so much girls dying to be with you.  They love you, you know."  He frowned.  "Yeah, right.  I don't get them.  How can they say that they love me and run after me like that?  They don't know, my true self, as you put in your song," he said the title for my self composed song with a grin.  "I don't know how you guys can stand them.  All they do is pull and shove and scream and hurt my ears." 

I laughed at this.  "I never said that I liked how our admirers act.  I know how you feel.  They have no true feelings for us.  I don't get how they can say they feel so strongly for us when it is all just fake."  He looked at me for a long time.  He seemed to be thinking about this.  "Then why do you become a singer?" he finally asked softly.  I smiled.  "I do not become a singer so I can be idolized.  I wanted to become a singer because it is something I enjoyed doing, and I have fun doing it."  I was surprised by what I had just said, mainly because it was the truth.  I did enjoy singing.

He grinned at me.  Then he held up what he had been waving above my head earlier.  "Hey! That's my book!" I yelled as I made a grab for it.  I missed and he went to lean by the door, my novel still in his hand.  He flipped through the pages.  "Hmm…Romeo and Juliet. I would have never thought you'd be into this mushy love crap when you said yourself that you need to know each other to love."  

I frowned.  "What do you mean by crap?  I happen to love that book!"  I had no idea why I just told him that.  There was certainly going to be some teasing ahead.  He smirked.  "Oh come on.  You are more of a hypocrite than I realized.  I mean, there you go talking about how people should get to know each other first before they an have feelings for each other, and yet you enjoy a story about two lunatics that marry each other a day after they have met."  I blushed a little at this, knowing how right he was.  But that wasn't going to make me back down.  

"It's none of your business what I read, Yaten!  And if you had the least bit of brains, you'd know that Romeo and Juliet are much more mature than those giggling schoolgirls that chase after you.  Maybe if you'd read the book, you'd see why I like it!  Now give it back!" I cried as I lunged for him.  He darted past me and leaped on my bed.  "Come and get it!" he said, waving the book in the air.  

I leapt in the air and was about to get my book when he moved his arm and I fell face down on my own bed.  Argh…he is going to so pay for that!  Just before he could escape, I reached up and yanked his shirt so that he came tumbling back down.  What I hadn't expected was that he'd tumble over me.  I screamed out loud as Yaten Kou fell right over me, so that his nose was millimeters from mine.  

There were footsteps as the other two guys who had probably just come home about a minute ago scrambled in to see what was wrong.  They stood at the doorway, Taiki shaking his head and mumbling to himself while Seiya was hunched over, shoulders shaking, as if he was trying to hold in laughter.  I think I must have looked red because my face was burning.  This is so embarrassing.  Yaten hurriedly got off me and tossed me the book, muttering "gomen, gomen."  

After we had gotten out of the shock and Seiya had gotten out of his laughter, Taiki snickered a little and said, "You know guys, if you were going to flirt, at least do it when no one's around."  I felt my face grow hotter.  "Yeah," Seiya chimed in.  "Go get a room or something!"  At this I felt Yaten breathing hard behind me.  

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!"  In one stride he had already covered half of the room, and the other guys knew they were in trouble.   "Get back here you jerks!" he yelled as they chased each other around the room.  "Hey, hey!  Go chase after Seiji, not us!"  Ok, so that got me mad.  I braced myself for the long chase I knew that I would be joining in on.  "What the hell do you think you are talking about?!!" I called after them.


	4. Part Four

Part Four: Yaten

         I slammed the door shut and sat on the bed still giddy and laughing from the previous event.  Ugh!  How dare tease me like that!  After about fifteen minutes of chasing Seiya and Taiki, Seiji and me had finally mailed them and got in for the final kill.  I have to admit, that guy knew how to tickle. I sighed.  

I haven't had so much fun in such a long time.  Things were so good now that everything was back to normal.  I miss the Princess, but I know that Earth is where we belong for now, and I am glad to be here.   Smiling to myself, I thought about the past few days spent with our new friend.  I didn't think I'd like him that much, but he was an okay guy.  

He was someone that was like me in some ways, and he was a good guy. He was kind of a sissy, but still cool.  If it weren't that the other two loved the singing thing so much, then I wouldn't be able to stand it.  But hey, at least they were having fun, and they were my brothers and my friends, so I was doing this for them.  

Yawning, I got into bed and pulled the covers over myself.  Better get to sleep if I was going to wake up at four tomorrow.  I shifted.  Then shifted again.  Wondered why I couldn't get comfortable… I closed my eyes and forced myself into unconsciousness.  Whatever I was doing wasn't working.  

The door opened a crack and I opened my eyes to see Seiji with a little sheepish grin displayed across his face.  "Heh, gomen. I didn't mean to wake you.  I didn't think you'd be asleep this early. I just thought I'd pay you a visit since I heard you awake the other nights and it was only fair that I invade on your private space since you invaded on mine."  I grinned.  "I wasn't sleeping.  I can't seem to." 

 I looked at him leaning against the doorframe with his lean body and his pajamas and thought how much he resembled a girl.  Even his face looked slightly feminine.  He would've made a pretty girl, I thought…. I shook my head to get the thoughts out of my head.  What the hell was I thinking?  He looked at me with an inquiring look on his face.  "What's the matter?"  

"Uh…nothing! I was just thinking about how funny that um...little situation we had earlier was."  He colored a bit, but it was hardly visible and I wouldn't have seen it if it were not for the light of the lamp that reflected off his face.  "Heh, yeah!  We really showed them, huh?" he said with a broad grin.  He looked around the room.  He seemed surprised at the neatness and the even more surprised when he saw that the roof was actually glass; so that I could look at the night sky when I want to.  There were advantages in living on the top floor.

"Wow Yaten-kun, your room is totally cool!  You get to watch the stars while you are lying in bed.  Wish I could do that."  I smiled.  "You can come over and watch the stars with me when you are bored at night if you want."  The second I said that, I regretted it.  What had I just said?  I mean, why was I being so nice and close to him.  And why would I want to watch star gaze with him anyway?

"No thanks," he said with a smile.  "I wouldn't want to bother you."  Whew, I thought.  I was relieved he hadn't accepted the offer, but also a little disappointed.  I shook off that feeling fast.  What has gotten into me today?  "It's no bother, but if you're sure you don't want to then that's okay."  He smiled at me, and I felt a little shiver run up my spine.  What is up with this guy?  Why is he always smiling?

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it.  He looked so petite; probably even smaller than me.  Gazing up he said something that got my attention.  "How do you feel about being an idol?  Isn't it tiring sometimes?  Don't you just want to be normal for once?"  I stared at him for a while until he turned and looked at me with those inquiring turquoise eyes.  I never noticed that they were such a vivid color before.  

So why do I notice now? Said a little voice inside my head.  I looked up at the stars to avoid his eyes.  The stars were shining brightly, and I wondered how our Princess was, how she was doing and what she was thinking.  His question seemed to tug me like a string, though.  "I don't know," I finally answered.  "I guess I do, but not now.  I want to be a normal guy someday, to not have girls mob me and to not have to listen to people proclaim their love to me every single day.  I don't want to disappoint the others.  They seem to be enjoying it, and like you, I love singing too."  

He looked at me and smiled again.  "That's nice of you to care for your friends like that.  I guess my dream has always been to be able to sing all I want.  But I am not near as good as you.  You have a great voice.  All of you."  I smiled warmly at him.  I don't think I had smiled at someone in that way for a long time.  "I'm glad you joined our group.  You are a great guy.  I think that we will all become good buddies."

He grinned.  "Aren't we all already good friends?"  (Insert sweat drop for Yaten at this part)  "Uh...I guess we are!"  He looked up at the stars.  "They are so beautiful.  I wonder what it would be like to be a star."  I tried not to smile.  "Yeah, it would be cool to be a star, wouldn't it?"  He nodded in agreement, and then stood up.  "Well, I better go back to my room so we can both rest," he said.  "We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."  I nodded back and got up to close the door as he left.  

In my mind I wonder about this new friend.  Why did I feel so good about his being here, and why did I have a special liking towards him?  Hmm…I will never be able to figure myself out.


	5. Part Five

Part Five: Seiji

         He stood up and I watched as he came over to me.  "Goodnight," he mumbled as he closed the door.  I silently walked to my room, all the while thinking about what we had just talked about.  I had never thought Yaten Kou to be capable of having a conversation like that with me.  He didn't seem like a person who shared his thoughts with people he'd just met a few days.  But I was glad to have him as a friend.  

         I smiled remembering he had offered me to come and star gaze with him.  Part of me had wanted to accept, but the other part told me that it was not something two guys would want to do with each other, and besides, he looked like he didn't mean it.  I guess I was forgetting why I had come here.  I came here to find out what the Three Lights were all about, not become one of the Shooting Stars.

         I lay in my bed I looked out the window at the moon.  All I could see was the moon.  Not the stars.  I sighed softly.  Maybe I didn't want to admit it, but I hadn't felt that happy since… I shook the thought out of my head.  Don't think about this, I scolded myself.  You are going to have to leave sooner or later; don't make it difficult.  You will lose all of this anyway, you always do, Setsuka…  

         Unknowingly the tears started to flow and make little trails down the sides of my face.  I hadn't thought about my past in a long time.  It was over, done with, and it couldn't be changed..  I brushed the tears away from my face.  It was no use to cry.  But even as I brushed them away, more tears came.  They kept on coming and there was nothing I could do but cry myself to sleep.  

                                                                   * * * 

         I felt an arm shake me hard.  "Seiji!  Seiji!  Wake up!"  I opened my eyes to find Seiya inches from my face.  "AHHHHHHH!!!!"  He jumped back.  "Can you not do that, Seiya!?"  A sheepish grin displayed on Seiya's face.  Then he looked worriedly at me.  "What?"  "You eyes; they're all puffy."  I fingered around my eyes a little.  "Ugh...must have been from staying up late."  I gave him a smile.  "Don't worry about it."  He didn't seem to believe me though but  left to let me change. 

         The crowd roared as the four of us came on stage.  Seiya grabbed the microphone and spoke huskily into it.  "Thank you all for coming.  Now, I won't be delaying any longer.  Shooting Stars, on stage!"  We started singing the familiar song Todokanu Omoi.  It had taken me only an hour to memorize the songs and a day afterwards to become harmonized with the other three.  Then we started to sing a new song, an English song that Seiya had composed.  I didn't think Yaten liked it that much because he kept on complaining while we were rehearsing, but it was a great song.

"Love is something to be cherished, and I do

         But looking into your eyes I know, that you don't

         Why must I always wait for true love to come?

         Is it just my imagination?

         Or is it that I am not sure what I am doing?

         Here in my room I think of you

         But am I thinking of you because I love you

         Or is it because that I hope thinking of you 

         Will make me fall in love?

         I don't know, but I know, 

         That I will go on thinking of you

         And that I cherish you… I don't know

 But I know that I will think of you

That I will cherish you…Forever…"

The song ended and I saw that everyone in the audience was either smiling, or crying.  Yaten spoke then.  "Thank you again for coming to see us, everyone, and for supporting us.  We will see you next time!"  With that all four of us linked our hands together to give a bow.  My hands tingled as Yaten grasped it.  I could feel myself blush a little.  I hope no one noticed.  We then left for the backstage area where some friends of the other guys waited for them

There were five girls in all, and I could see Seiya's eyes light up when he saw one of the blonds.  She was very beautiful and had her hair put up in funky buns and pigtails that oddly seemed to fit her.  "Odango-atama!" Seiya called to her.  She instantly had a little frown on her face and mumbled softly to not call her that.  Taiki seemed to be very familiar a short blued haired girl.  She seemed kind of shy though... perfect for him.  I glanced over at Yaten to see he was trying to pry off the other blond in the group, who was hanging onto him like barnacles.

"Oh Yaten-kun!  You were so great!!!!"  Then the raven haired girl who was arguing with Seiya's 'Odango-atama' suddenly popped up in front of me.  "Hello, my name is Rei, and you were great!"  I smiled at her.  "Thanks," I said.  After Rei had introduced me to all of their friends, it was time for us to go back to the house and get some sleep. I looked at the watch. It was half past one, and yet I didn't feel tired at all.  It had been a great first show.  


	6. Part Six

Part Six: Yaten

        We all slumped down on the big leather couch the minute we got back to apartment.  We stayed there for about five minutes talking about what we were going to do the next day when school started.  Then Seiya and Taiki went off to their own rooms, and that was when I realized that Seiji had fallen asleep on the couch.  I was about to wake him, but stopped myself.  His hair lay in disarray about his face like a red halo (is that even how to describe it?) and his breathing was slow and calm.  He looked so peaceful and vulnerable.  

        I shook my head to clear it.  What the hell was this!  For some reason I felt fondness towards this person…No, not fondness...but something… I couldn't describe it.  I decided I wasn't going to wake my friend now that he was sleeping so peacefully.  He felt extraordinarily light as I half carried half led him into his room. 

 "Hnnnmhh..."  I looked at Seiji again.  He was resting his head on my shoulder and tendrils of hair were falling across his forehead.  I leaned in and reached up to brush them away, and as I was about to, his eyes fluttered open.  "AHH!!!!" he yelled.  He jumped out of my arms and a few yards away in record time.  

Doors cracked open and Seiya and Taiki's heads popped out.  "What happened here, anyway?" Taiki asked in an annoyed voice.  "Uh, nothing…" I tried to explain, but Seiji cut me off.  "He was holding me and…and…leaning close to me for some reason!!!" he said in a very frenzied voice.  I have to admit...it kind of hurt to have him be so offended just because I… Seiya was grinning and Taiki was already closing his door. 

         "I told you guys, if you're going to flirt, do it somewhere else!" he told us with a smirk.  I growled a little and I could see Seiji's hands were clenched.  Seiya must have seen that because he immediately closed the door.  We stood in the hall for quite some time.  I decided I had to tell him.  "Look, Seij…I was just taking you to your room because I didn't want to wake you, that's all.  I didn't want anything...to happen, if that's what you think.  I'm not that kind of person."

          He grinned.  "I know. It's kind of silly for me to freak out just because you were a little close to me, because I'm sure guys are always doing stuff like this to each other, but I was just surprised, that's all."  Then his grin widened.  "Why?  Did you think I thought you were that kind of guy?"  He laughed softly.  I didn't know how to answer him.  Did I?  I wished I knew what I was doing.  

"No, not at all."  He smiled.  "That's good.  Hey, if you're not sleepy, would you mind if I took up that offer you made last night to come watch the stars?  I am kind of bored and I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep."  I was taken aback a little by his request.  But I had offered and I wanted to know what he thought about me and the other guys so far.  "Sure."

He plumped down on my bed the minute we walked in.  "Come and lay down!  There's plenty of room, and you can't watch the stars from there."  I moved awkwardly to the bed and lay down beside him, flat on my back.  Gazing up I saw the many twinkling stars that sprinkled the sky.  Seiji shifted a little beside me.

"Look!" he said, pointing to a familiar constellation, "its Orion!"  In return I pointed out one of my own.  "And there's the Big Dipper."  I heard him sigh in contentment.  "Don't you just love stars?  They are so beautiful, like crystals in the sky, shimmering for all time.  I wish I could shine like them…" I smiled to myself.  "Being a star is not as fun as being a human; trust me.  I would rather be a human any day."  

I glanced at him.  He was smiling, the ivory glimmer of stars reflected on his face.  I had never met a guy like him.  He reminded me so much of myself, only more carefree and innocent.  Then I saw what I thought were tears glimmering in his eyes.  I looked up at the sky so I would not have to see them.  It must have been my imagination.  Why would he cry anyway?  He has no reason to.  But another glance proved that my eyes had not mistaken.

"You okay?" I asked, still looking at the sky, but not seeing anything but those sparkling turquoise eyes.  His voice sounded a little too high, even though it came from deep within his throat from his effort to sound normal.  "I'm fine…just really happy, that's all.  I am really glad that I am able to be here gazing at stars with a good friend."  He shifted position again to turn and look at me, his arm propping his head.  He smiled at me, an innocent smile; a real smile.  I didn't see that very often those days.  

"What are you smiling at?" I asked him, trying to sound at least a little annoyed, but only managing to sound amused as I began to form a smile of my own.  "You." was all he said.  I gave him a questioning look.  "I never thought that you'd be this nice to me.  I had my own opinions about this boy band thing, as you've known.  You guys have shown me that I was wrong."  His smile grew.  "I'm glad."  

The next twenty minutes were moments of silence.  Then I looked over and saw Seiji had fallen asleep again.  Deciding not to wake him, I got a blanket out and covered him up, then got one of my own and lay down myself.  He felt so warm next to me… I shoved that thought out of my head and closed my eyes, wanting so much for sleep to come.  It finally did.


	7. Part Seven

Part Seven: Seiji

        I opened my eyes to find myself staring up at the night sky, up at the twinkling stars and crescent moon.  I got up quietly, realizing that I was in Yaten's room, and also realizing what the warm lump beside me was.  What was I doing here?  I shouldn't have be here at all…I must have fallen asleep while I was talking with Yaten-kun.  But why didn't he wake me up?

        I snuck a look at his face.  He looked so peaceful sleeping wrapped up in the blanket.  His bangs slightly covered his eyes and he had a half smile displayed across his lips.  Before I knew what was happening I found my fingers tracing a small line on his cheek.  His skin felt cool and soft and I pulled back instantly upon seeing his eyes flutter a little bit.  

        I knew I had to go before he woke up, because I would not be able to face him if I had stayed.  I took one more glance at his angelic face before opening and closing the door softly behind me as a left.  I jumped on the bed once I got to my room and burrowed deep under the sheets.  I brushed tears away from my eyes as I thought about Yaten Kou.  I knew this was a bad idea.  All I was supposed to do was go and become one of the Lights so I could do a simple school newspaper article; but I couldn't do that, and this ended up happening…I ended up falling in love with someone I thought I would have despised.  

        My head hurt, and I knew that it would hurt more in the morning, but that was the least of my worries.  I had to end this right now.  I couldn't fall in love with him, I just couldn't.  Besides, he didn't even know me, even like me.  To him, I was just Seiji, his fellow band member and buddy.  He has no other feelings for me.  Why couldn't I just face it?  He thought I was a boy.  I wanted to laugh at myself.  And even if he knew you were a girl, he would never feel the way you do towards him, Setsuka.  Face it.  You're just too pathetic.  He doesn't love you.  I told myself over and over again until I drifted off into a fitful sleep. 

        I woke up about four hours later just before a knock sounded on my door.  "Who is it?" I asked softly.  "It's Taiki. You awake?"  I scrambled out of bed and found my sports bra, duct tape, and clothes.  "Uh…yeah!  I'll be out in a minute.  Wait, okay?"  "Sure," he said.  After I got dressed, fixed my hair, and gone to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower, I came out to the living room to find all three of the guys waiting for me.  

         Seiya looked impatient and immediately stood up when I walked towards the couch.  "Can we hurry?  We'll be late for school!"  I raised an eyebrow.  "You want to be early for school?"  Taiki grinned and spoke.  "He just is excited about seeing his 'Odango,' that's all."  I glanced at Yaten, who seemed too quiet.  He must have felt me staring at him or something, because he looked up.  Our eyes met, and I was forced to break the gaze.  

        I took a deep breath and tried to act normal.  "So, let's get going then, so Seiya can see his sweetheart."  The others nodded in agreement, Seiya with red cheeks, Taiki with an amused grin, and Yaten looking perplexed.  We locked the doors behind us and got to the parking lot where the car was.  

Taiki immediately slipped into the driver's seat, and Seiya into the passenger, which left room for Yaten and I in the back.  I tried to casually avoid his eyes, and thought that I had succeeded until he spoke.  "Hey, what's up with you? You seem shy."  It would be rude if I didn't look at him when speaking so I forced myself to look up into his emerald green eyes.  My heart skipped a beat.  Such beautiful eyes he had. 

"Nothing," I managed along with a smile.  "I am just tired, that's all…I didn't get much sleep last night."  That seemed to shake him up a bit, because I could see him shifting uncomfortably and he seemed to look grave.  Maybe I had just imagined it, but I thought he looked a little sad.  No…why would he be sad because of what I said.  I will never mean more to him then just a friend.  He couldn't possibly feel the same way, could he?  And what if he did?  That wasn't the real me anyhow…

The car pulled to a stop in front of the school and we were finally able to get out.  I looked around.  Wow…Juuban High school was different from my old school.  Then out of no where a bunch of girls shot forward and starting pulling at us, pushing and shoving, and asking us for autographs.  I looked over at Yaten and saw his bored/exaggerated/tired expression and almost wanted to laugh out loud.  He must really love this, then.  

Finally after we were able to get free of the girls, the four of us entered the school and got to class five minutes before the bell.  Seiya took the seat behind his "Odango", Tsukino Usagi, Taiki took the seat in front of the tall brunette, Kino Makoto, and Yaten took the seat next to the pretty blonde named Aino Minako.  I looked around to see if there were any seats I could sit in, when the teacher pulled me in front of the whole class.  

"Students, please welcome your new classmate Nokito Seiji," she said, and then pointed to an empty seat in front of Yaten.  "Seiji, you can sit there since Hameda is on vacation.  I will try to arrange a seat for you later."  I sat down, all the while trying not to notice Yaten's eyes on me.  "And who would like to show Seiji around?"  Almost all the girls' hands shot up, at least of what I could see.  Suddenly I heard his voice.  "I'll show him around, sensei.  I already know him, so it'll be easier.  The teacher nodded, also a little surprised that Yaten was acting unlike himself.  I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.  But I couldn't help be happy that he had volunteered even though I knew it would be harder to hide my feelings for him if we were to spent more time together.  Oh well…maybe I should just let things go the way they are, for now… I thought.


	8. Part Eight

Part Eight: Yaten

I gazed at Seiji in front of me.  I couldn't concentrate on what the teacher was saying.  I really wanted to let him know that nothing was going on between us; that I just didn't want to wake him up last night.  He probably _thought_ I _was_ a sick psycho.  I _didn't_ know what _was_ wrong with me.  I shouldn't _have _be_en_ so close to someone I ha_d_ just met, even if he d_id_ live with me.  

He shifted in his seat, and I wondered if it was because I _was_ behind him.  Why the hell did I volunteer to show him around anyway?  When the teacher had agreed, I heard snickers and knew it was from Seiya and Taiki.  What was their problem, anyway?  Why d_id_ they keep on teasing Seiji and me?  This was a bad idea.  Maybe I _was_ crazy or something.  I wonder_ed_ if I could un-volunteer myself…  

The bell must have rung without my knowing because suddenly Seiji was in front of me, asking me if I was ready to leave yet?  I nodded in response and he continued to speak as we headed out into the hallway for the next class we has together, which was art class.  "What was up with you anyway?  You were like, spaced out."  I gave a wry grin.  "Nothing, I was just thinking about how some stuff."

We walked in silence for a moment, and then he spoke again.  "Listen…about last night, I.."  I didn't want to talk about last night so I cut him off.  "Look!  There's art," I said, as I hurried ahead of him and into the classroom.  I sat down in an empty seat before he could say anything else.  I d_idn_'t know why, but my heart felt heavy, and as he walked in dejectedly and sat down at the farthest corner, it became heavier. 

The teacher, Mr. Chang, was teaching us how to paint our emotions.  I wanted to laugh inside.  Yeah, like I need_ed_ to do that right _then_.  I _didn't_ even know what _was_ going on inside of myself, let alone paint it for the world to know.  I looked over at Seiji _and _our eyes met.  It seemed he was also sneaking a glance at me.  Hurriedly I looked away and tried to regain the posture that I was sure I'd lost.

"Okay," the teacher said.  "Now I want you to pair up folks.  Pick a partner, and start painting together.  I want to see if you can express your feelings to each other through art.  It shouldn't be hard.  Hurry now!"   I sighed as some of the girls looked over at me.  Some of the others were looking at Seiji too, I saw.  I wonder_ed_ whom he was going to pick.  He looked around and his eyes finally rested on me.  He gave me a questioning look, and I nodded.  Rising from my own chair, I made my way over to his table.  

          He smiled up at me when I sat down across from him, and I thought about what a bad idea this was.  We looked at each other and waited until the supplies were passed out.  "Okay, what do you want to paint?" he asked.  I shrugged.  "Beats me.  We're supposed to paint about our emotions, right?  Well, I feel tired.  He looked disappointed.  "Oh, ok… Maybe we should just paint whatever and let our hands take over.  See what comes out?"  

        "Good idea."  So we started painting, him making graceful strokes and me unsure of what to do at all.  Finally he grabbed my hand to stop me.  "Look," he said with an exaggerated expression on his face.  "You've got to let it flow.  Don't think about what you should paint.  Just paint.  Okay?"  I nodded, although I wasn't really aware of anything except the fact that he had his hand on mine and was guiding it to make beautiful sure strokes as he was doing.  

Finally he let go and I continued to paint silently by myself, fast paced and then slowly.  My side of the painting was as confusing as myself, but somehow it managed to fit together with Seiji's picture well.  Before I realized it, our picture was transformed from a whole weird mess into nice scenery of the ocean and sky at night, Seiji doing the sky and stars and me doing the waves of the sea.  

We were so busy that we didn't notice Mr. Chang standing behind us until he spoke.  "Beautiful! I love it!"  Both Seiji and I turned around to find Mr. Chang looking at us with an amazed look on his face.  "You do?" I asked him.  He smiled.  "Yes.  It is great!  You can feel the confusion of the roaring sea and the wind of the heavens that is trying to calm it down.  A great peace of work!  Good job, you two!"  

I noticed Seiji was also as stunned as I was.  I can't believe he could see it.  How did he know I was confused?  Was it really the painting, or did it really show that much?  I thought about the other thing he said.  The wind of the heavens trying to calm it…Was Seiji also aware of how I was?  


	9. Part Nine

Part Nine: Seiji

        "Good job you two!"  I could feel myself blush.  Looking at the picture once more, I saw the strokes Yaten and I had made when I led his hand.  I smiled a little.  Those strokes were what became the horizon, and I saw that Mr. Chang was right.  No one knew this, but being an artist, I could tell too that Yaten's technique showed his confusion.  Was he as confused as I was?  Did he feel how I did?  Was his heart beating as hard as mine right now?  No…I didn't think it was.  

        I looked at him, and he seemed to be somewhere else.  "Yo, Yaten!"  He looked up at me, somewhat dazed.  Dazed?  I grinned.  "We make a good team!"  He grinned back, and nodded slightly.  We finished with Yaten helping me with the stars and both of us helping each other clean up.

        I thought about what had happened before class had begun.  Why did he seem so scared to talk about last night?  I guess he didn't like it that much.  And why would he anyway?  I should have never even asked to come over, but I couldn't help it.  I wanted to get to know him more.  He seemed to be embarrassed though.  Oh well…Maybe he was just anxious to get to class, or something, I told myself.  I sighed out loud.  No he wasn't!  He just didn't want to remember something like spending a night with me…

Yaten looked up from the table, which he was trying to wipe clean.  "What's wrong?" he asked.  He had probably heard the little whimper that escaped my lips.  I tried to smile, but I know my efforts were useless, because I felt like crying, and I couldn't hide the tears much longer.  My voice trembled a little when I spoke.  "Um…nothing!  I'm just hungry."  The bell rang again to signal lunch just before I thought I couldn't hold the tears back any longer.  "Oh, and there goes the bell!  See ya at the cafeteria, Yaten-kun!"  I raced out the door, but obviously not before he had seen a glittering tear roll down my cheeks. 

I sat alone on the bench behind the building, and cried.  I could not stop myself, although I knew that I would have some explaining to do if someone came by.  Finally, after about five more minutes of sobbing and sniffing, I stopped, and went into one of the bathrooms to try and make myself look halfway decent.   Decided to take the men's because it would have looked weird if a guy like me went into the girl's bathroom.  Also, because that one was empty, and it would be easier for me to clean up my face, for I don't think I want anyone to see that I had cried. 

I exited the bathroom looking a little better, and decided I would go to my next class instead of bother with eating.  I didn't want to face Yaten yet, and he was probably looking for me right now at the cafeteria, since that's where he'd thought I'd be.  I smiled sadly, glad that I didn't have the next class with Yaten, but also sad because I really wanted to see him and tell him everything.

I walked to E building for English and bumped into none other then Seiya's "Odango," Usagi Tsukino.  "Oh, sorry!" I exclaimed.  She smiled apologetically at me.  "No, it was my fault.  I wasn't paying attention to where I was going as usual."  She extended her hand.  "Hi Seiji, I'm Usagi!  Remember me from the concert?"  I smiled back at her.  "Of course.  You were the cute one that Seiya was drooling over."  

She blushed a little and pointed to E29.  "Do you go to this class too?"  I nodded, and she had a sheepish look on her face.  "Um...do you think you could sit by me and help me out, because I am no good with English.  I noticed you could speak it really well at the concert."  I nodded again, and we walked in together, and then took the two seats in the front.  

It was true that she couldn't speak English very well, and was kind of klutzy, but she was really funny, and nice, too.  Before the class was over, we had become good friends, and I didn't wonder why Seiya has a liking for her.  She was the cheerful, happy, all around great kind of person.  I wonder why Yaten doesn't like her…

I bell rang, signaling the end of school.  Looking at Usagi struggling with her books and papers, I decided to help her and took some of her books for her.  She smiled gratefully at me, and we exited the class together, just as Yaten happened to appear around the corner.


	10. Pat Ten

Part Ten: Yaten

        There he was!  I rushed over to Seiji wanting to find out what had bugged him earlier, and why he wasn't at lunch.  Then I looked closer and realized he was carrying a few more books than I saw him with earlier; and who's book should it be other then Tsukino Usagi.   My temper flared.  So that was what he was doing.  Hanging out with that meatball head.  And carrying her books, too!

        When he saw me, he seemed to look uncomfortable again.  I don't know why it should have bothered me...but it did.  I watched as Usagi almost slipped on a rock, and was steadied by him.  "Watch it there, Usa-chan. You might get yourself hurt."  Usagi in turn beamed at him.  Then she looked up and noticed me.  

She was also kind of uncomfortable when she said hi to me.  I didn't blame her, though.  I had always been a little hard with her.  I didn't mean to be, I just was.  Maybe was because Seiya liked her so much, and I was scared she would hurt him.  Boy would Seiya have liked to see this!  I don't think she ever let him carry her books…

I stared at Seiji and all he could manage was a nod in my direction.  Not like I cared, though…  "So, um, Seiji, I thought you said you were hungry.  I didn't see you at lunch anywhere."  He looked shaken.  "Um…. ano… I met up with Usa-chan and she asked me to help her with homework.  I couldn't very well refuse, so…  but anyway, I am sure you found lots of cute girls to eat with you, so you didn't really need boring old me tagging along."  

Whoa...where did that come from…?  I thought I heard I hint of bitterness in his voice.  "Well, actually, I ate alone."  I wanted to hit myself.  Why the hell did I have to say that anyway?  It's not like anyone cared.  But looking at him I realized that he did care, because he looked really guilty; not that he should've been.  Or maybe he should've… Ugh!  This was just too confusing.

Just then out of nowhere Seiya popped up.  "Hey Odango!"  Usagi jumped a bit, and Seiji grabbed her arm to steady her again.  I wasn't the only one who noticed.  Seiya's face seemed to slump a little.  After we all said our greetings, he asked Usagi of she wanted to go on a date with him that night.  I was about to say we had practice but stopped when Seiji spoke. 

 "That's a great idea, Seiya-kun!  Unfortunately Usagi is studying with me tonight.  Right, Usa-chan?"  She nodded a bit.  "Uh huh!  We decided in class that Seiji should tutor me on my English."  Seiya gave Seiji a deadly look, but he didn't seem to notice.  "Fine.  I guess studies are more important."  After excusing himself to "go and do something", he pranced off dejectedly.  

Well, that was just great.  Not only did he have to have a girl, it had to be Seiya's girl.  Wait a second...why should I have cared whether or not he had a girlfriend?  And why wouldn't he have one?  I stared at him carefully, and he looked away when our eyes met.  "So, Yaten-kun, what are you going to do tonight?"  I searched my mind.  I had to find something.  Then suddenly thoughts of something Minako said to me earlier hit.  "Uh…I'm helping Minako with her math."  He seemed sad again, and I wondered if what I said had caused it.  

Then he smiled.  "Hey, I have an idea.  Maybe you and Minako, Seiya and Usa-chan, and me and Rei-san can triple date sometimes."  I raised an eyebrow.  I never saw that coming.  Him and Rei?  The raven-haired girl?  Me and Minako?  How could he think that I would want to date Minako?  Usagi looked alarmed.  "Wha-what, Seiji-kun? I have a boyfriend.  I can't go out on a date with Seiya-kun!"  

"Oh come on, Usa-chan!  He likes you, and you don't hate him.  Go for it.  It's just a date.  You don't have to love him to go out on one date with him."  When she still looked uncertain he put his arm around her slightly.  "Look, he's a friend, right?"  She nodded.  "Well, don't you want friends to be happy?  That would make him ecstatic."  She nodded a little.  "Yeah, maybe… I'll think about it, ok, Seiji-kun?"  He nodded.  "Deal!"


	11. Part Eleven

Part Eleven:  Seiya

        I slammed the door hard behind me.  I couldn't believe that guy!  I mean, I treated him like a friend, accepted him as one of us, even thought of him slightly as a brother, and what does he do to me?  He steals my Odango!  I mean, when Mamoru went away again I thought I'd have a chance, but here he comes along and spoils it!  Taiki walked out with an annoyed look on his face, which eventually turned into a worried one when he saw my mine.  "Whoa, what happened to you?  You look like someone just stole your girlfriend."  

        I gave him an icy glare, and then swung at the table, knocking some glasses and the digital watch down unto the ground.  "Someone just did!"  He sat down next to me and asked me the same question again, only this time in a nicer tone.  "What happened, man?"  I took a deep breath.  "Seiji is helping Odango with her English."  He stood up.  "Is that all?  I thought Usagi was going out with someone or something, but helping her study?  I mean it's not like it's an excuse or something.  She does need the help." 

 I glared at him.  "What do you mean, is that all?!!  Can't you see that he totally wants to be alone with her and pursue her and stuff?"  He stared back at me.  "No he isn't.  Think about it.  I mean, just think.  He knows that you are in love with her; it's obvious.  And he is your friend.  He wouldn't just go and steal your girl on purpose. Plus, did they say they were going to go out to around to find out."  I nodded.  "Maybe you're right. Just maybe…"  "I have to go somewhere tonight.  Maybe you can stay here and see what happens.  Just don't come to any conclusions yet, okay?"  I nodded.

                                                        * * *

        The door sounded and I could hear footsteps, followed by familiar giggles and laughs that could be none other then Odango's.  I was about to go out and say hi but stopped myself.  "Usa-chan, I have something to tell you."  I wonder what that could be…     

"Well, ano…I am…ano..." he struggled.  I watched from the hallway.  Usagi smiled.  "I know what you want to tell me.  It's okay."  He looked surprised.  "You do?  H-how?"  She went over and sat next to him on a couch.  "Well, you were with me all day; and you were really close to me.  The way you acted showed it.  I'm a girl; I know."  What?  She knew he liked her and she didn't even care?  She even smiled?  What did he have that I didn't???  

        "Oh, I see."  He said.  She laughed her precious laugh.  "You look so surprised.  I am not that stupid, ya know!"  He smiled back and put his hand on hers.  "Thanks," He said.  I turned around, already having enough of this.  But Seiji's next words made me turn.  "Thank you so much for not telling anyone I'm a girl."  "YOU'RE A WHAT?" I cried as I ran out into the living room.


	12. Part Twelve

Part Twelve: Setsuka

        The minute I saw Seiya I knew I was in trouble.  I also knew that I would not be able to stop the scream I knew was coming.  "AHHHH!!!!" I yelled as I tried to run away, only to be held by Seiya's firm grip.  Pulling to him, he looked at me; really, really looked at me.  "My god… It's true.  You are a girl."   I tried to grin, but ended up grimacing instead.  

"Please, Seiya-kun, please don't tell anyone.  Please let me stay," I begged.  I didn't know that tears were in my eyes until one single drop rolled down my cheek and Usagi reached over to brush it away.  "Seiya-kun, please don't be so hard on her.  All she wants to do is stay and sing with you guys.  What could happen?"  He looked at me, then at Usagi, and his face seemed to soften.  

"All right, all right.  But we can't tell Taiki or Yaten or they would freak!  I mean, you're a girl!" he added, patting me on the shoulder lightly.  I smiled.  "That doesn't mean you should treat me any different.  I mean, you should still treat me like a guy, since I am to everyone else."  We all nodded.  I couldn't help the smile one my face.  "Yes!  Now I have someone to talk about my feelings to!"  Seiya raised his eyebrows.  "Feeling?"  I blushed, and Usagi caught on.  

"Ohhhhh… Seiji-san, you like Yaten, don't you?"  I could feel my face grow hotter each second.  "Wha-what made you think that??"  She grinned at me.  "What else?  You were more quiet when he came, and you are uncomfortable around him.  I am not as dumb as I seem to be!" she said with a wink.  "You mean, that's why they were flirting?" Seiya spoke up.  I hit his arm lightly; but not too lightly. 

 "Hey!  What do you mean!  We did NOT flirt!"  He stuck his tongue out and made a heart shape with his hands.  "Seiji and Yaten, sitting in a tree…" I shook my head silently…  That was it.  I wasn't going to take that from him.  "Seiya…" Hearing the venom in my voice, Seiya at least had the brains to know that if he didn't find somewhere to hide fast, I was going to kill him again.  

We ran about the room for about ten minutes, then Usagi seemed to have gotten bored and started chasing after us, until we finally chased Seiya into his room, where we then pinned him to his bed.  That was when the torturing started.  The whole apartment soon filled with cries for help and pleas mixed with laughter as both Usagi and I tickled him.  "See?" I said to Usagi.  "I told him last time not to ever mention my name, Yaten, and flirt in the same sentence.  But did he listen?  No; so he has to pay!"  She nodded and we continued with our tickling.  "NOOO!  Please!!!  I'll do anything!"  Hmm, well…too bad for him.  He was the one who started it.  

* * *

        Usagi and I sat on my bed together.  We had just let Seiya free about five minutes ago, and had retreated to my room to study.  "Okay, repeat after me," I said, as I pronounced the English alphabets, then asked her to say one word that began with the same letter for each one.  After trying to say zebra several times, she flung her hands up in confusion.  

        "Wah!  I'll never get this… I'd rather talk about you and Yaten-kun instead."  I looked at her, and sighed.  "What's to talk about?  He doesn't know I'm a girl; and even if he did, what makes you think he'll go for me?"  She smiled reassuringly.  "Don't put yourself down.  I've seen how Yaten-kun looks at you.  He really likes you too, although I'm not sure how.  Maybe we could get him to know you a little better?"  I frowned. 

 "Do you think you can do me a favor?"  She smiled.  "Sure.  What is it?"  "Okay… Could you go out on a date with Seiya?  I want to quadruple date with him, Yaten, and Taiki; but he won't go out with anyone except you."  She frowned too.  "But, why?  I mean, Seiji-san…you like Yaten, right?  So why would you want to go out on a date with some girl in front of…" She paused.  "Ohhh…. I see…" I nodded, wondering if this is the right thing to do.  She grinned at me.  "Well, anything to help a friend. And maybe I will even enjoy this.  Oh!  Seiji-san?"  I looked at her.  "Yes?"  She grinned sheepishly.  "Do you think there will be food then?"  I laughed, then answered her.  "Anything you want."  


	13. Part Thirteen

Part Thirteen: Yaten 

I unlocked the door quietly. It had been the most boring night   
of my life. Not only did I have to walk around and around until I was   
certain that Usagi and Seiji would have to be done with their studying   
if they were studying at all, I was bombarded by a bunch of fan girls;   
one of which turned out to be Minako. After asking a thousand times why   
I was out at that hour, she finally bought my story about me wanting   
get out for some fresh air.                        
Upon entering the apartment I heard laughter coming from one of   
the rooms. Of course my first impulse was to check Seiji's room, since   
he was supposed to be having a girl over. When I entered his room, I   
was surprised that not he and Usagi were there, but that Seiya was with   
them; and playing cards, too. They looked surprised to see me and   
immediately stopped their talking.   
Usagi spoke up first. "Hi Yaten-kun! You're back early. Have   
fun with Minako-chan?" She asked this with a slight knowing grin, and I   
wondered if her friends told her their schedules. I managed a little   
smile. "Yeah…ano, we went for hot chocolate." Well, it was true   
enough. I mean, we did have hot chocolate after she bumped into me. I   
looked over at Seiji and asked, "How about you guys? Thought you said   
you were studying."   
He opened his mouth to answer but Seiya cut him off. "They   
did. Then I came home and suggested we play cards." I looked at their   
cards. "What are you guys playing?" I asked. Finally Seiji spoke.   
"Oh, um, just war. I'm not playing." It was then that I realized that   
the only ones holding cards were Usagi and Seiya.   
"Hey! I have an idea!" We all looked at Usagi. "Let's play kemps. We   
do have enough people. Yaten and Seiji can be in a group; and Seiya and   
I can be in a group." She beamed, and I had to admit it was a great   
idea. Finally something fun at last! Not like I liked the idea of   
Seiji and I being "partners", it's just it's a fun game. So we had a   
two-minute break to choose our secret signal. 


	14. Part Fourteen

Part 14: Seiji 

In the hallway Yaten and I stared at each other for a few seconds. I 

don't think he had an intention of speaking anytime soon so I had to. 

"Okay, what do you want our signal to be?" "Uh…maybe we could clear our 

throats?" I made a face. "That won't do. I mean, it's too obvious. 

How about we look each other in the eyes and rap our fingers?" He 

looked at me as if I was crazy. I knew I had an annoyed look on my 

face, but I couldn't help it. 

"Well, you avoid my eyes anyway, so it would be an easy signal." He 

seemed to be stunned by what I said, but managed to nod once. I looked 

at him carefully. "So, have fun with Minako?" I asked. He was 

surprised by my question. Before he could answer it though, the door 

swung open and Seiya's head popped out. 

"Hey you two lovebirds! I know you want your time alone but the two 

minutes are up." I growled at him slightly and he grinned back at me. 

I couldn't believe he just said that. I mean, just because I'm a girl 

doesn't mean he had to tease me like that. Maybe I just didn't want to 

admit that it hurt me because his words were so far from reality. As I 

passed by him though, I managed to whack his head hard. He cried out in 

pain. 

"Hey! What was that for?" I glared at him. "A reminder that I am not 

any sort of bird let alone a lovebird." He stuck his tongue out at me, 

and I gave him an evil look. "Watch out, Seiya. Remember what I did to 

you a while ago. I'm sure you don't want to experience that again." He 

seemed to wince and Yaten looked at me questioningly. I shrugged 

innocently. 

Finally we started to play. Seiya and Usagi made a great team, and they 

won twice in a row; partly because when I tried to look at Yaten, he 

wasn't looking at me, and even though I drummed my fingers on the bed 

frantically, he didn't notice until the others had and yelled stop 

kemps. 

I sighed and looked up at him. He was staring straight into my eyes. 

His emerald green ones made a chill run down my spine, and I felt my 

face grow hot despite my efforts to lo normal. I finally managed to 

snap out of it and yelled "Kemps out." Seiya raised his eyebrows. "Uh, 

did you have to yell it that loud, Seiji-kun?" I colored a little. He 

called me that on purpose, just to tease me. "Uh…well, I was excited, 

that's all." 

Usagi yawned. "I think I'll go home now. I am soooo tired. Anyway, 

maybe we can plan that quad- well, that date thingy later?" I nodded. 

"Sure. I'll call Rei-chan tomorrow." Seiya burst out laughing. We 

both glared at him and he silenced himself. "S-Sorry. I forgot. It's 

just really finny, that's all." Yaten looked at us in a weird way, and 

I almost burst out laughing myself. Too bad I had to do that to Rei. 

But hey, I had to find someone decent to go out with me. We said our 

goodbyes and Seiya headed out the door with Usagi to walk her home. 


	15. Part Fifteen

Part 15: Seiya 

I looked at the clock. It would be five more minutes until we 

get going to the resort to meet with Odango and her friends. How did 

they think that I could wait that long? Were they crazy? Did they not 

have any sense? But of course I knew Taiki had a reason for holding us 

back. I mean, if we were early, the girls would think we were too 

eager. We don't want that...well…at least Taiki doesn't. Me? I have 

only been on a date with Odango once before, and I just can't wait for 

this one, especially because it will be a real date; even though others 

will be around. 

I wonder how "Seiji" will handle things…. Hmm… Just then Taiki 

and Yaten walked out; Yaten with an annoyed look on his face, Taiki 

smirking a little. "No one told me I had to be on a date with 

Minako-chan! I mean, isn't it bad enough I have to endure her 

hair-pulling and flirtatiousness?" He complained. Taiki grinned. 

"Well, I don't see you minding about that with Seiji-san." 

"Why you..." Yaten was about to pound him, and even though he was a lot 

shorter than Taiki, we all knew how well he could throw a punch. Then 

he stopped when suddenly out of thin air, Seiji popped up. "Hey, what 

are you guys up to?" He dropped his arms and tried to act normal, 

although I little tinge of blush still resided on his cheeks. Seiji 

looked at me as if looking for an answer and I grinned back at her. 

Hmm…her. I felt weird at first about the secret we shared, but 

gradually I accepted it, and I decided it made no difference whether she 

was a girl or a guy. 

"Okay guys. Shall we go now?" Seiji said, looking at all of 

us. Yaten made a face. Hehe…I couldn't help but feel sorry for 

him...but I couldn't help but feel sorry for Seiji, either. I mean, not 

only did she have to go out with a girl she had to watch the guy she 

likes be tortured by another one. The many woes of life… 

* * * 

I scanned the beach. After an eye-straining search, I succeeded 

in locating Odango, Ami-chan, Rei-chan and Minako-chan near a little 

palm tree. We were at the resort that Taiki reserved for us. It had 

taken a lot of money to make sure that we had the beaches and cabins all 

to ourselves for the weekend. It was Seiji's idea to go to the beach, 

but I thought about that time when we all went camping together and 

wanted to do that again. We couldn't decide on one, so we chose both. 

Odango saw me, and waved, as Minako-chan and Rei-chan ran toward 

us. I looked over at Yaten and he had an exaggerated face, only 

slightly funnier than the embarrassed one Seiji had. Minako-chan of 

course didn't hesitate at all to fling her arms around Yaten and give 

him a spontaneous hug. Rei-chan followed suit, and succeeded in 

distracting Seiji from her intent gaze on Yaten and Minako. Was she 

jealous? I thought as I watched her slowly pull away from Rei's 

embrace. 

I gazed slowly to where Odango used to be, and was surprised to 

find only Ami-chan to be there. A light tapped on my shoulder told me 

where she was. I grinned as I whirled around and caught her in a big 

hug, as she cried out in surprise. "Seiya-kun! Please don't do that! 

All these people are watching!" I let go of her and grinned sheepishly, 

although I wasn't sure I felt guilty at all about what I did. "Gomen 

ne, Odango Atama." She smiled a little at me, and you wouldn't believe 

how happy I felt at that moment. 

Then she looked over at Rei-chan, and burst into laughter. 

Seiji looked alarmed, and tried to calm her down by holding her 

shoulders. "U-Usa-chan! What's wrong? What's so funny?" she asked, 

even though I am sure she knew exactly why Odango was laughing. Seeing 

Odango like that and realizing why she was this way made me laugh also, 

and pretty soon Odango and I were both teary eyed from laughing to hard, 

and we leaned against each other for support. 

Finally Seiji must have not been able to take it anymore, 

because the next thing we knew, she was yelling at us. "STOP 

LAUGHING!!!" We both stopped immediately, and I thought about how for a 

girl, she sure had a loud voice. Wait...what was I talking about? All 

girls have loud voices. I mean, how do else do you explain their ear 

piercing screams? I almost laughed again, but one look from Seiji made 

me stop. Ok...so I shouldn't speak, since she did help me get a date 

with Odango Atama. 

Finally we got to the area where Odango was sitting earlier, and 

we all watched as Ami-chan and Taiki said their awkward hellos. 

"Konnichiwa, Taiki-san. How are you?" Ami said softly, all the while 

blushing. Taiki was a little better, but not by much. "I'm fine. Say 

Ami-chan, would you like to see the book I got on Shakespeare?" I saw 

Yaten look at Seiji, with a little teasing grin, as she colored a 

little. I haven't seen him look at "him" like that in a long time. 

This was a good idea to go to the beach…it really loosens Yaten up. 

Looking back at Taiki and Ami, I decided to do something fun. Walking 

behind them to where they sat side by side on the sand, I waited until 

Taiki turned his head to that they totally faced each other, and then 

pushed their heads together so that their lips touched. I could see 

both their eyes widen, and when I saw the fire in Taiki's eyes, I knew I 

had to run for it or get killed. 

When I pulled away from both of their heads, Taiki took no time 

before turning red; but not as red as Ami, and just with embarrassment, 

but also anger. I ran for it. Just as I thought that he wasn't going 

to chase after me, I heard Taiki right behind me, screaming bloody 

murder. Yups. That was what he was planning if he got a hold of me. 

But I didn't care. I had to do it. They couldn't be shy forever. 

"SEIYA!!!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" I sighed. Saw that coming… 


	16. Part Sixteen

Part 16: Yaten   
I almost laughed when I saw Taiki's face as he and Ami-chan   
chased Seiya down to the beach, where they both dunked him into the   
water, making him gasp for air. Rei-chan, Minako-chan and Usagi-chan   
went to inspect, and ended up trying to calm Taiki down so he didn't   
really end up killing Seiya; leaving me sitting on the big blanket alone   
with Seiji. He looked at me and grinned. "They're having so much fun,   
aren't they?" he said, his turquoise eyes filled with amusement. I   
could not help but look at them…   
Suddenly he broke off the gaze and stood up, jogging out to the   
beach. "Hey!" I exclaimed, running after him. "Wait up!" When he got   
near where the others were in the water though, he stopped. I caught up   
to him and held onto one of his shoulders for support as I tried to   
catch my breath. He looked at the water and his expression showed   
uneasiness.   
Rei-chan must have noticed her "date" here and immediately   
splashed over. "Hey Seiji-kun! Come join us, the waters are great!"   
For some reason Seiya and Usagi splashed over also on hearing what she   
said. "Ano…I don't think that would be a very good idea, Rei-chan."   
Rei looked puzzled, and Seiya cut in. "It's because Seiji can't swim.   
He's just gonna sink if he tries." Rei grinned at that. "Oh, that's   
great! Seiji-san! I can teach you how to swim…Come on!" she grabbed   
him by the hand and proceeded to get him into the water. As much as he   
tried to protest, she wouldn't let him go. Finally, Usagi did   
something.   
"STOP IT REI-CHAN!" We all stopped what we were doing (which   
for me was nothing) and stared at her. She hurriedly grabbed Seiji's   
hand and pulled him to shore, then she, he and Seiya walked back to the   
spot we sat at earlier. I looked at them go, and watched Seiji smile at   
Usagi while putting an arm around her shoulder, as Seiya did the same.   
I was so intent on watching them, I didn't notice everyone was watching   
me until Minako-chan spoke up.   
"Um…Yaten-kun? Are you still there?" I smiled at her. "Oh, sure   
Minako-chan. I'm fine. Let's go back and meet the others," I said,   
taking her hand in mine and walking towards the other three. If   
everyone else was going to act all lovey dovey, I might as well do so   
too. I could see Minako blush slightly.   
When we approached the others, and Seiji looked up at me; his eyes   
landed on our entwined hands. He looked away, but not before I caught   
the slight flicker in his eyes. I wonder what caused it…. Smiling to   
myself, I sat down next to him, making sure that Minako was right by my   
side. "Do you want anything to drink or anything?" I asked her, not   
particularly with a soft voice.   
She smiled at me, and shook her head. "Being with you is enough." I   
have to admit I felt kind of guilty afterwards for using her like that,   
but then again I didn't know how I was using her, and who I was using   
her against, so I dropped that thought. Seiji stood up and leaned   
against a nearby tree, looking dejected. I watched as Usagi went over   
to him and put a hand on his shoulder. I rolled my eyes at that, but   
winced when I thought I saw his eyes mist over.   
What was it now? Why was he crying? I furiously fought the urge to   
come over and comfort him. I looked around and it seemed that no one   
else seemed to notice; all except Seiya, who was looking at Seiji   
with…pity and understanding? This was getting weird. Just when it   
seemed that I was about to lose that battle with my emotional side,   
Seiya stood up also and went over to the other two, leaving me   
completely alone with Minako.   
Minako put her hand on my shoulder. It caught me by surprise, and I   
turned to face her. "Yaten-kun…you really like Usagi-chan, don't you?"   
she said with all solemnity. I could have sworn I almost died of   
laughing right there. Afterwards when I had recovered, I found   
everyone, including Ami, Taiki and Rei staring at me. Minako looked   
embarrassed. "Heh…I guess no then." I smiled at her and everyone   
looked at us, confused. "Um…let's just say Minako thought I liked   
someone that I didn't like at all." Everyone seemed to nod, all except   
the earlier trio, one of whom ran down to the beach.   
Usagi was the only one to follow Seiji this time as we all watched   
perplexed. I stared at Seiya and he managed an awkward grin. "Uh…they   
felt like watching the waves?" I shook my head and started running down   
to meet them, much to Seiya's absolute objection.


	17. Part Seventeen

Part 17: Usagi   
Man, Seiji-san can run fast! I thought as I hurried to catch up   
to her. "Seiji-san! Wait up!" She seemed to slow down, but didn't   
altogether stop. When she got to the part where the waves lapped at the   
sandy shore, she slumped down on the sand and buried her face in her   
arms, which were tightly hugging her knees. Sitting down beside her, I   
put an arm over her shoulders.   
"It's all right, Seiji-san…" I whispered gently. "Please don't   
cry. I am sure Yaten-kun didn't mean you were that someone…" She   
looked up and my heart ached for her, for the tears I saw in her   
beautiful eyes. Tears that were caused by someone who didn't even know   
he'd caused them. Mentally I wanted to scream in Yaten's face for doing   
that to her, but I knew it was silly because it wasn't his fault.   
"How can he not know? I mean, I might not be the smartest   
person in the world, but I know whom he meant. I mean…I am the only one   
who they could possibly discuss. Rei-chan doesn't show an interest in   
him, Ami-chan hasn't even spoken to him, and you…why would anyone think   
he likes you?"   
I winced. That was true enough since everyone knew Yaten-kun didn't   
care about me at all. It didn't make matters any better with the fact   
that he seemed to care so deeply about Seiji-san. She must have been   
devastated when he laughed like that, just because someone thought he   
liked her. He shouldn't have laughed like that. I looked down at the   
waves and felt a surge of emotions towards Seiji-san. She was such a   
cool person. I don't get how Yaten could not like her even if she was   
not a girl.   
The sobs were almost unbearable to hear. I hated to see a friend cry   
like this. Reaching over a held her tight and started to feel my own   
tears well up. I was just so sad! We stayed like that for a while,   
then a warm hand touched my shoulder and I whirled around to find Yaten   
looking at Seiji and I with a confused expression. She seemed to have   
noticed his presence because she once again buried her face in her arms,   
and sobbed softly. I took the time to study Yaten-kun's face and   
realized that he did indeed care about her. He seemed to be in pain as   
he watched her, but when he saw me looking at him, that pain seemed to   
dampen into only sympathy.   
"Seiji-san, are you all right? What happened?" he asked softly, as he   
sat down on the other side of her, one hand on her visibly shaking arm.   
She looked up at him, and I saw him wince. "What happened?" he repeated   
his question. "Nothing…" she muttered, hardly audible. He stared at   
her for a minute longer, then grabbed her shoulders in what must have   
been, judging by her cry of surprise, a strong grip. She fought to let   
go, but he held her still. "Tell me now. Please!" he exclaimed, and I   
am sure all three of us were surprised by his desperate tone.   
Seiji's blazing eyes were set in stone, or do it seemed, as she wrenched   
herself free from him, and stood up. "It's none of your business,   
Yaten-san. Now either you leave, or I will leave. Which one do you   
prefer?" I could tell he was shocked by her coldness, but he seemed to   
have caught on that she really needed to be alone, so he said, "I'll   
leave you alone. Just don't get too depressed, okay?" She didn't   
answer and only looked down at the sand.   
He then looked at me with a pleading look that melted my heart down   
almost completely. "Please make sure he's okay, Usagi-chan." I was   
about to agree, but I was too angry with him for making her that way. I   
mean, he was the one who had caused this, and yet he wanted me to be in   
charge of it? I gave him a fiery look. "You're damned sure I will! I   
actually care about Seiji-san." He opened his mouth to argue, but then   
looked at Seiji and closed it, walking away with a frown. I almost felt   
sorry for being mean to him. Almost…


	18. Part Eighteen

Part 18: Seiji   
Even I was surprised by Usa-chan's harsh words. I mean, sure I   
was angry at him, and I knew that she was, but she was always so   
soft-spoken I didn't think she would say something like that to him. I   
stood up when I thought Yaten was out of sight. She looked over at me   
with a slightly sheepish expression, which showed she was a little sorry   
to have acted that way. I smiled a little. "I'm sorry to have made you   
guys worry…" I started, but stopped when she raised a finger.   
"Shh…Seiji-san. I don't know how Yaten could say that. He was really   
mean. I am sorry that you had to go through that." I took her hand,   
and squeezed it a little. "Let's go back to the others," I said, and   
then grinned in an effort to try and act normal. "Seiya must be   
wondering where his girlfriend went." She colored a bit. "Seiji-san!   
Really! He is not my boyfriend!" I laughed. "Tell that to him!" I   
said as I ran back to where the others were.   
* * *   
When we both got to our earlier spot, Ami informed us that the   
others had left to go back to the cabin that we shared. Together the   
three of us headed there. I was amazed when I saw the cabin. I   
mean…sure I knew this place was going to be nice since it was so   
expensive, but I didn't know it would be this nice. The cabin looked   
small but when we were inside I didn't have a doubt we would all have   
enough room.   
After much planning Usagi and I decided we would share rooms,   
since there were only four rooms, two of had fireplaces. I was shocked   
and angry when I found out that Seiya and the others had already decided   
the rooming arrangements, and that I was going to be sharing a room with   
Yaten.   
"Uh uh uh, Seiji-san," Seiya taunted as he wagged his finger   
back and forth across my face as if he was disciplining a little child,   
"We can't have guys and girls in the same room, now can we?" I growled   
at him softly, and he stepped back. "What? I mean, I have to be away   
from my Odango too, ya know. It's not like you're at a disadvantage; if   
I were you, I'd be happy." He was about to say more but Usa-chan him off   
by pulling him over and asking him to show her where her room was.   
So Usa-chan was to share a room with Ami-chan while Minako-chan   
was with Rei-chan and Seiya and Taiki were rooming together for the   
night. After everyone knew what to do, we decided to retreat back to   
our rooms and get ready for dinner. I looked over at Yaten to find he   
had already gone to "our" room. Gingerly opening the door, I peeked in   
to see if he was doing anything to get ready yet, since I really didn't   
want to walk in on him when he was changing.   
Yaten glanced up at me and smiled; although as forced a smile at   
it was. I smiled back. "So what were you doing in here?" I asked as I   
sat down on the soft comforter of what must have been the king sized   
bed, wondering if all the other beds were this big. He frowned   
slightly. "Nothing. Just thinking about some stuff." "Like what?" I   
pressed on. "Like why Minako-chan thought that I liked Usagi-chan."   
My eyes widened in surprise. "What? She thought you liked   
Usagi?" He looked confused, which was not fair because I bet he wasn't   
as confused as a felt! "Yeah. Why, who did you think she meant?" I   
felt my cheeks grow hot. "Um...no one in particular. Let's drop this   
subject, okay?" He nodded. "Sure. I don't really like talking about   
girls anyway."   
Was he saying he'd rather talk about guys, then? I thought to myself.   
He must have been reading my mind because he gave me a lopsided grin.   
"No, I don't like guys, if that's what you think." "I wasn't thinking   
that!" I lied. He smirked. "Yeah, yeah. We all believe you, Seiji."   
I stuck my tongue out at him. "You should," was my curt reply.   
It turns out that we had a lot more in common than I thought we did, and   
during the next half hour we talked about various things; some including   
cats, art, books, and of course sleeping. By the end of the thirty   
minutes we were both laughing at crazy, partly because of Yaten's   
horrible interpretation of some movie stars he knew, and partly because   
we were enjoying each other's company; much to my-- and probably his--   
surprise.   
Before we knew it, the sun was disappearing beneath the horizon   
as we watched from the window, sitting close to each other and sharing   
our warmth. I wondered how Yaten felt about this, since he was   
obviously a guy and it would be weird for him since he thought I was a   
guy also. But I don't think he minded much, because he snuggled a   
little closer to me and soon his breathing relaxed, telling me he was in   
dreamland.   
Silently trying to dislocate myself from him, I managed to do it   
without waking him up. 


	19. Part Nineteen

Part 19: Yaten 

I woke up to the sound of loud thunder. Slowly opening my eyes, 

I saw Seiji's face hovering slightly above me, his face displaying a 

little smirk. "Finally up?" he asked. I glanced at the clock by the 

door and was shocked when I found I had slept for nearly four hours! 

Groaning, I got up and sat beside Seiji, squinting to see him clearly, 

for the warm glow of the fireplace made him look odd. "I missed dinner, 

didn't I?" I asked him groggily. He grinned at me, and produced a 

little container out of nowhere. "Here, I saved you something." I was 

nonetheless touched by his thoughtfulness. 

"Heh, thanks," I said awkwardly. He smiled back. "No prob." 

He walked away to find something. Suddenly a knock sounded on the 

door. "Come in," Seiji called, and a moment afterward, Usagi sauntered 

into the room. "Hey Seiji-san…" she started, "I was just seeing if you 

were alright…" she glanced at me, "...if you needed anything." I was 

kind of annoyed that she was here, because although I knew they were 

just friends, I can't help but think that she should stop flirting with 

him like that. Not that I cared, for I wouldn't give if they got 

married or something; I'd just be sorry for Seiya. 

Seiji was in the bathroom, and I took that time to study Usagi 

carefully. Sure, she was the one who fought Galaxia with us, the one 

that saved us all, and the one we were supposed to protect now, but I 

was still a little wary of her. She seemed to be getting uncomfortable, 

so she called out to Seiji. "Seiji-san, what are you doing in there?" 

I muffled answer was given. "Uh…changing…" A long pause followed. " 

Why don't you come in and help me?" Usagi immediately rushed in while I 

sat there with what must have been a dumbstruck look on my face. What 

the…. How… 

My blood seemed to boil. That was just not right! How dare 

she…I mean- they! I didn't even know why I cared! I slumped back on 

the bed and squeezed my eyes shut. Sounds of giggling told me the 

'couple' had come out from the bathroom. I felt someone's breath near 

my face, and opened my eyes to stare into Seiji's turquoise ones. They 

were full of merriment and amusement. "Ya know, Yaten-kun…nothing 

happened with me and Usa-chan. She was just helping me brush my hair." 

I felt myself blush, and realized he had anticipated that, for all he 

did was lay down next to me. 

Usagi seemed to have left, leaving us alone. After about ten 

minutes of complete silence, Seiji turned to me and said, "Your turn!" 

"Huh? Wha..." I managed. He raised an eyebrow. "Uh…to take a shower?" 

"Oh!" I scurried for the bathroom. The water felt good against my skin 

and as I was enjoying the relaxing shower, I heard a scream. That woke 

me up more than the water did. 

Grabbing a towel, I quickly covered myself and rushed out to see 

humongous youma standing over a very frightened Seiji. All thoughts 

left me as he screamed once more, and the youma attacked, leaving a few 

deep gashes on his arm. Tears burst forth from his eyes as Seiji 

screamed, this time in pain, and I felt my control slipping. Without 

waiting to make sure he was fully unconscious, I took out my henshin and 

yelled, "HEALER STAR POWER!" and was transformed into Sailor Star 

Healer. 

Not bothering with my usual speech I lunged at the youma as I heard 

Seiji faint, but certainly not before I saw his surprised stare as he 

watched who used to be his MALE friend strike at a monster in her now 

female form. "Yaten…" managed to slip past his lips. Just then the 

other Senshi came in and upon looking at Seiji once, Sailor Moon was by 

his side. "Seiji-san! Seiji-san! Please wake up!" she cried, and I 

wished she would just get away from him. 

Finally composing herself enough to fight, Sailor Moon finished the 

youma off after I attacked it with my Star Sensitive Inferno. We all 

de-transformed and were all at Seiji's side in less then a second. I 

gripped his hand, shaking him, trying to get him to wake up, but only 

succeeded in making him groan. Ami checked his wounds, and we all found 

out that his arm was not the only part that the youma had fractured, but 

that he had also suffered from extreme energy loss and was coming down 

with a high fever. 

We decided that it would not be good to stay at the cabin and brought 

him home so we could take care of him. As I watched him sleep fitfully, 

my heart ached for him. Usagi and Seiya, for some unknown reason, had 

refused to let me tend to him, other than keep watch over him to make 

sure he didn't wake up without us knowing. It went on like that for 

three days and nights, and I could not bring myself to sleep or eat or 

do anything when he hadn't yet woken up. I sighed deeply, as I watched 

him breathe unevenly. There was a soft knock on the door, and Usagi 

entered with a fresh towel to put on Seiji's forehead. She had 

practically camped over at our place ever since he was unconscious, and 

I must admit she was a great help. 

"Yaten-kun, why don't you get some rest? I can watch Seiji-chan for a 

little while." I glared at her gruffly. "I don't want to rest," I 

simply said. She sighed. She went about applying the new towel and I 

stopped her. "I'll do that." She nodded and left me with the towel to 

change. Taking off the damp towel from Seiji's forehead, I felt how hot 

he was, and it scared me. What if he didn't get better? I banished 

that thought and applied the freshly washed icy cold towel on his 

forehead. 

Studying his face, I saw sweat start to form. Taking the towel off, I 

felt his head again. This time the temperature seemed to have dropped, 

and I nearly jumped for joy. "Hey you guys! Seiji's temperature 

dropped!" Heavy footsteps were heard as all the occupants of the 

apartment and otherwise visitors, clambered into the room. They must 

have made a lot of noise, for when I looked back at him, I saw Seiji's 

eyelids flutter, and slowly open. 


	20. Part Twenty

Part 20: Seiji 

The cold dampness was what got my attention. It seemed like I 

was going through an endless mist of darkness, filled with memories, and 

thoughts and scenes. Oh the scenes…. I saw the monster lunging at me, 

and then I saw Yaten…yes, Yaten as a female…was I mistaken or was he in 

a skirt? Then I remembered…I remembered hearing in the news about 

sailor-suited soldiers that helped fight against evil and supernatural 

happenings… Was Yaten one of them? 

I didn't care…I felt so cold, yet hot at the same time. And the 

pain; the intense pain in my chest and my arm nearly made me unconscious 

again. I thought I saw Yaten smile at me, thought I saw him take me in 

his arms and care for me…. No, it must have been an illusion. The cool 

dampness of something on my forehead helped, and soon I heard noises; 

familiar voices that held questioning tones. I tried as hard as I could 

to open my eyes, and soon a crack of light emerged from my near dark 

world, almost blinding me. 

"HE'S AWAKE!!" I was sure it was Yaten's voice. Was he really 

worried about me? I felt a cry escape my lips as I tried to move, for 

the searing pain was so severe. I could not see clearly, but I knew 

that it was him, for I could feel his warmth, and the way he held me 

reminded me of that brief moment when we were star gazing. I gripped 

his hand as tightly as I could, and although I knew everyone was 

watching, I could not help but cry, for even though I was in agony, our 

closeness brought great happiness to me. Soon I noticed there was less 

noise and warmth in the room, and realized the others had left, leaving 

me alone with him. We stayed like that for as long as I remembered 

until I fell once more into the arms of sleep. 

* * * 

For three weeks Yaten cared for me with all his heart. In the 

mornings I was told that he'd woken up an extra hour early to make 

breakfast for me. When I woke up though, he would always be at my 

bedside to say good morning and give me whatever I needed. If Usa-chan 

and I had not objected to it, he might have helped me brush my teeth and 

change, too. Luckily, he agreed that it was better for Ami-chan to do 

it, since she was training to become a doctor. Of course she already 

knew what I truly was. After I had changed, he would carry me to my 

wheelchair (yes, I had to sit in a wheelchair for a while) and take me 

out to breakfast where he would feed me himself. The first few times I 

was so undone by his closeness that I had started crying again like I 

did when he held me after my little coma. Yaten was very patient with 

me, and would wipe my tears away and pull me close to him, trying to get 

me to eat again. 

Then he'd wheel me outside to watch the clouds because I was too weak to 

do anything too physical yet. We would often stay like that and talk 

for hours, about how I was feeling, about everyone else, and he'd even 

read to me some Shakespearian literature, however much he hated it. 

Then we'd watch the sunset together in his room, until it was time for 

dinner, and he would repeat the feeding process again. We usually went 

back to his room afterwards and he would sing songs or play music for 

me. When night came, we would both lay on his bed watching the stars 

and trying to name constellations. Then when I got tired, I would just 

close my eyes and fall asleep, only to find that he had carried me back 

to my room so that he did not have to make me go myself. It went on 

like that for quite a while before I had the strength to walk, and even 

after that his attention did not slacken much. 

I grew to love him even more, and my heart ached to know that he just 

thought of me as a friend. Or did he have any feelings for me even 

though he wasn't supposed to? I often wondered about that, and by that 

time, all the others had found out about me being a girl. All accept 

Yaten. I could not bring myself to tell him I had been lying to him all 

this time… During those long conversations, Yaten had told me everything 

about his past, about him being a sailor Senshi, and all of that. I 

felt for him, because I could imagine what a hard life he must have 

lived. In return I told him about my life as an orphan and how I was 

always the oddball. 

Four weeks after my little "accident" I had recovered completely, and it 

seemed that everyone was relieved. Soon I would be back in school 

again. Then suddenly I remembered. I had to tell Yaten about myself 

still. Usa-chan and all the other Senshi, who had become my close 

friends over my period to recovery, came over occasionally, much to 

Taiki and Seiya's delight, and Yaten discontentment. They teased me 

mercilessly about how Yaten was scared they'd take me away from him, and 

even Minako-chan seemed to have forgotten her crush on him; at least 

ever since she met that guy Kurt who she kept on talking about. 

Overall, my life would have been much better if I could've told Yaten 

how I feel. 


	21. Part Twenty-One

Part 21: Yaten   
The sun shone over us as the four of us exited the car and   
walked into the school. I could not begin to describe how relieved I   
felt that Seiji had fully recovered. It had been a tough month for him,   
and I did not think that he was content with the treatment I had   
lavished on him in that time. Maybe he did not at all feel comfortable   
about us being that close, but those weeks were the best I've ever   
remembered spending with him, and now that we were back in school, I   
found myself missing our afternoons talking to each other, our nights   
spent star gazing, and even the struggles we had when I insisted on   
feeding him.   
"Yaten-kun!" I heard someone call my name. I turned around to   
see a short blonde girl with green eyes running up to me. She blushed a   
little as she gave me the letter, and bowed, and left in a hurry. I   
looked at the letter I held in my hand. It had the words To Yaten   
enclosed in a heart. Another love letter… I was about to throw it into   
the trash when Seiya stopped me. "Hey, come one, Man. Don't just throw   
away fan letters like that. They truly love us, so why don't you just   
read it?" I shook my head. "How can they love me when I they don't   
even know me?" I proceeded to rid myself of the letter when Seiji   
spoke.   
"Yaten, you really shouldn't do that! I mean, that girl   
probably put lots of thought into that letter, and it can't hurt you to   
read it. I mean, I sure wouldn't want anyone to throw away a letter I   
wrote. You should read it even though you don't have any feelings to   
return. Please don't be so cold." I had to admit I was kind of stunned   
to have him scold me like that; because no matter how polite it sounded,   
it was still considered scolding. And I was weak towards Seiji for some   
reason. "All right, all right…" I mumbled as I read the letter.   
Dear Yaten-kun,   
I am one of your biggest fans! I love you a lot and I only wish that   
you would feel the same way about me. I have an incurable disease and   
can only live for four more months, and if I could spend them with you,   
it would be worth dying for. Please meet me at the Sunset Rd. after   
school.   
Yours Truly,   
Erika 

I didn't know it then, but Seiji was reading over my shoulder.   
"You should go and meet her," I heard him say softly. I looked at him   
warily. "I can't. If you think I would date a girl just to pity her,   
you're wrong, Seiji. And besides, we have to practice that duet   
together, remember?" I reminded him of the rehearsal appointment we had   
to practice on the song we wrote together while he was sick. He   
frowned.   
"We could always do that another time. I mean, we've already   
memorized all music anyway. All we need to do is practice, and your   
voice is almost perfect. I can practice by myself if you're busy."   
Ugh…he was acting silly again. "How am I busy?" He grinned at me.   
"You have a date today, remember? Now let's get to class before we're   
late. During homeroom, I tried to forget about the look Seiji gave me   
when he thought I wasn't looking. It was a mournful look, like when you   
know you have to let go of something but you don't seem to want to.   
After the bell rang for the first period, I hurried to catch up   
with him, and we walked to art together. Mr. Chang seemed to be in a   
good mood today, and let us have a free partner session. We had to get   
into pairs and come up with something that described what we had in   
common by the time class ended. Of course my first choice for partners   
was Seiji.   
I looked at him across the room, and he looked away, trying to   
find someone…another partner? I knew it shouldn't have bothered me, but   
I felt hurt. What was so wrong with being partnered up with me? But it   
seemed that everyone else were already in pairs and we were "stuck" with   
each other again. I left to join Seiji at his table. "Hey, want to be   
partners?" He shrugged. "I guess…" I studied him for a minute. "Are   
you mad at me because of that letter?" I asked gravely. He was   
startled. "O…Of course not…what made you think that? You can go out   
with whomever you like. And…NOT go out with whoever you like." He   
looked away and called back behind his shoulder as he arranged the   
painting paper that did not really need to be arranged.   
"I'll go get the paint and pencils and stuff," I offered. He   
mumbled, "Sure," and we went on working together in silence afterwards.   
It was really weird, since all the other people discussing what they had   
in common while we set off to draw. What I saw Seiji draw astonished me   
a little. He drew a boy and a girl hugging each other. They both   
looked familiar, but I didn't know why. We started to paint, and the   
finished product was as astonishing as the sketch. A warm glow seemed   
to surround the couple, and the painting made me feel like I was one of   
them. The Seiji grabbed a dark marker and wrote carefully on the dried   
ink.   
Warmth and Happiness,   
Sorrow and Pain,   
Friends and Family,   
We all need love   
We all need strength   
We all need someone,   
To hold us…to guide us   
To protect us, and to tell us   
That they love us…   
We all need love. 

Now I knew what we had in common, and I couldn't agree more. I wish I   
could tell him that I loved him, for indeed I did. I didn't care what   
he was, who he was. I just loved him because he was Seiji. Because he   
was the person that stayed up late to watch the stars with me, because   
he was the person who I held close to me for comfort, because I can't   
live without him even though I tried to. I know Seiji would probably   
freak out if I told him this, but was true. Sure I would be ecstatic if   
he was a she, but it didn't really matter. Because he's Seiji… And now   
I realized it…I was in love. 


	22. Part Twenty-Two

Part 22: Seiji

         I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that poem…(Okay, so maybe I was thinking about him) but the way Yaten looked at me made want to shiver all over.  He had a look of wonder on his face, filled with happiness and fulfillment.  What the heck was the guy thinking about anyway?  

         I had to admit that I was kind of upset that he would throw away someone's love letter just like that.  Now like I'd want him to actually go out with her.  No, that would have ripped me apart.  But he could have at least gone to meet her.  In her condition, he should have been more compassionate.  I still wondered about what he was thinking, so I did the only practical thing.

         "What's up in that mind of yours, anyway, man?  You look giddy about something."  He seemed to have snapped out of a trance as I talked to him.  "Uh…I uh…was thinking about how good you are at this art stuff."  "And how much I like your little poem," he added.  Now that shocked me.  I thought he would have hated.  Through the time I spent with him, I knew he did not like mushy things, and that to him would have been considered at least a little sappy.  

         "Thanks," I said, not wanting to be rude.  I smiled at him, and then he had that dreamy look again, as he smiled back, _rather dumbly_, I thought to myself.  The next few minutes we spent cleaning up our working area.  We did this silently, hardly making any sounds.  I felt something still tug at my mind though, so I spoke up first.  

         "Yaten, you're not really going to stand that girl up, are you?"  He looked a surprised.  Then he frowned.  "I'm not standing her up.  I never agreed to meet her I the first place," he said quietly.  I could not believe this guy!  He could be so…disagreeable at times!  I was angry with him for being so cold, and I certainly showed it.  "Hmph…well, you should at least go and meet her.  I mean, how can you be so cold?  She might be dying, and you don't even care!"  

         Now he was really surprised.  I don't think he knew I was capable of raising my voice that much.  Then again, I don't think the class knew either.  They were all staring at me like I was crazy, and I chuckled sheepishly.  "Eheh…hello minna-san…" After the attention of the class was off of me, he let out a sigh.  "All right, all right.  If you go with me, then I'll go see her.  Okay?"  I hesitated.  I am sure she would want him alone.  But then again it would be very uncomfortable for him, not to very awkward for me, so I agreed.  "Okay."

                                                                         * * *

         There we were sitting on the bench.  We had just gotten there, and I couldn't see anyone coming, so I decided to have a little chat with Yaten.  "So, what was the true reason that you were all bright eyes and smiles a while ago?"  He looked uncomfortable, and tried to look away, but I stood up and skipped around to face him, looking at him in the eyes.  "Tell me?" I said in a convincing voice.  He hesitated…"Uh...I..." he was interrupted by a scream.  

         "AHH! Yaten!  You really came!"  We both looked up to see a red head that amazingly looked a lot like me, who came running up to meet us.  "Oh my gosh!  This is SO cool!  I finally get to meet you! Thank you so much for coming!"  She gave him a sweet smile that to me could probably give him cavities.  He looked kind of dazed, and then smiled back at her.  Wait!  He smiled back at her?  He hardly ever does that with other fans…

         The whole afternoon was spent talking about how glad she was that he decided to meet her, and how she loved his singing, and his attitude.  What did she know about his attitude anyway?  I stood in the corner listening to them talking, laughing at each other's jokes.  I hate to admit it, but it made me sad beyond belief…He was getting along so well with her.  It seems he had completely forgotten I existed.  I might as well not…

         Finally they seemed to have realized it was late, for they both said their goodbyes, and I finally began existing again.  He looked over at me, and just walked ahead, probably assuming that I would come along with him anyway.  But I was too…devastated…yes, devastated that he could completely forget I was there like that.  I knew I was selfish, that I was paranoid.  And why shouldn't he forget about me to chat with a beautiful girl.  It was natural for him.  I was just one of the guys.  Natural…

         He looked back at me questioningly, surprised that I was not behind him (well, at least not right behind him).  I guess it must have been pretty obvious that I was upset, because he jogged over to me.  "Hey, what's wrong?"  I looked into his eyes, and felt tears emerge.  I couldn't stop them, didn't feel the need to.  They trickled freely and I felt him reach up and brush one away from my face with a thumb.  

         "What's the matter, Seij?"  He used the nickname I had grown accustomed to hearing from him.  I shook my head, because the lump in my throat made it hard for me to speak.  Then he did something unexpected.  He hugged me.  I tried to untangle myself from him, but he wouldn't let me go.  I could feel his warm breath against my ear.  He whispered something I couldn't catch through all my sobbing.  But I had an idea of what it said, and was astounded.  He couldn't have possibly said that.  

         "Come again…?" I finally managed.  He hugged my even tighter and whispered again.  "I love you, Seiji…" he whispered deeply into my ear.  It felt like he entered my mind and screamed the words out loud.  It was so amazing.  The happiness I felt was indescribable.  He loved me…. he loved me…. he loved _me.  _I think I must have died and gone to Heaven.  Maybe I was dreaming.  

I withdrew from him, and he let me.  Then I pinched myself hard on the arm; so hard that my flesh instantly turned bright red.  He looked at me.  "Why'd you do that for?" he asked quietly.  I think I started crying again.  He looked so adorable...so perfect.  And he loved me.  I leaned against him for support, holding his hands to keep myself from falling.  They felt warm, and yet they sent shivers up my body.  

He asked me again.  " I looked up at him, although I couldn't really see him through the mistiness of my eyes.  I smiled.  "I wanted to know if I was dreaming…I wanted to make sure you meant it… that it wasn't just another dream.  I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be taken away from me like the other times just when I was about to say…" 

I paused, bushing away my tears so I could see him clearly.  "Say?" he asked.  I smiled again as tears of happiness formed once more.  "That I loved you…" He looked like he had just heard the greatest thing in his entire life, although I doubt that was it.  He embraced me fiercely.  He seemed to study me for a moment, making a decision.  He leaned in, and I realized just as our lips were inches from each other that he was going to kiss me.  Something snapped.  I couldn't…not until I told him everything.  I pulled away from him, and he was too surprised to grab me.  

He looked at me, confused.  "Why?"  I shook my head.  "I'm sorry…I can't...not now...not yet!  Please understand, Yaten…please.  I love you, but I just can't…you need to know first."  "Know what?!"  I looked at him… "Know…that I'm a girl."   


	23. Part Twenty-Three

Part 23: Yaten 

We sat there, and just as he was about to answer me, someone yelled. 

"AHH! Yaten! You really came!" We both looked up to see an 

extremely cute redhead running to meet us. She nearly pounced at me, 

hugging me until I could hardly breathe. "Oh my gosh! This is SO 

cool! I finally get to meet you! Thank you so much for coming!" She 

looked up at me and smiled. She did look rather sweet when she smiled 

like that. And she looked as if she was related to Seiji. That's 

probably the only reason why I smiled back at her. 

She kept on blabbering on and on about how she liked my singing, 

and how I was so cool and good-looking. All I really wanted to do was 

get Seiji into the conversation, but he was standing behind us next to 

the tree, and the girl didn't let me have a chance to turn around. She 

even tried to crack a joke, and it was so pathetic I couldn't help but 

laugh. I made a little remark, which wasn't supposed to be funny, but 

in her eyes was hilarious anyway. Finally after what seemed like days, 

she said she had to go home. No one can imagine how relieved I felt. 

After she had left, I turned to Seiji and he was looking at me 

funny. I decided he was probably going to tease me about the girl, and 

I didn't need him teasing me about love at that moment, so I just walked 

on, thinking that he would follow me. "Yo Seij," I called softly after 

a little while. He didn't answer. When I looked back, I saw that he 

was at least ten meters away from me, right on the spot where I had left 

him. 

He looked upset, like he was trying to fight something, and I 

wondered if something happened. I ran over to him, and asked what was 

wrong. What happened next surprised me. Tears started to roll down his 

cheeks, each drop tugging at my heart. What was the matter, anyway? 

God, I hated to see him like that. I didn't know what possessed me, but 

I couldn't help but reach up and brush away a tear that had just fallen 

from his eyelids. I asked him what was wrong again. 

All he did was shake his head in a despairing way. I really 

hated to see him like that. All I wanted to do was hug him. And so I 

did. He felt warm in my arms, his head resting slightly on my shoulder 

while I inhaled the scent of his hair. He seemed so vulnerable, and I 

wanted to protect him. I wondered as I held him in my arms if this was 

what total contentment felt like. 

I couldn't stand it anymore and had to tell him. I whispered 

into his ear what I had been hiding from both of us for so long. That I 

loved him. He didn't seem to hear me, and after he had regained enough 

composure to talk, he asked my what I had just said. I whispered into 

his ear again, while increasing my hold on him. "I love you Seiji…" I 

said softly. I felt him let loose, and then suddenly withdraw from me. 

I let him, wanting to give him some time to take all of this in. He 

pinched himself on the arm, and I winced when I saw the red mark it 

left. "Why'd you do that for?" I asked. 

Then he started crying. I seemed to panic. Was he so disgusted 

by that thought that he couldn't hold back tears? But then I saw the 

smile through his tears. He was crying so hard that I had to hold him 

up; worried he might collapse. I asked him again. He looked up at me 

and beamed at me. I felt like I was being melted like a snowman, and I 

was actually enjoying it. His next words shocked yet delighted me. "I 

wanted to know if I was dreaming…I wanted to make sure you meant it… 

that it wasn't just another dream. I wanted to make sure that you 

wouldn't be taken away from me like the other times just when I was 

about to say…" 

"Say?" I wasn't sure what he would say, but oh how I wished it was what 

I thought. He smiled again as tears fell. "That I loved you…" I felt 

like I had just died and gone to heaven. Maybe he wasn't dreaming, and 

I was instead. I hugged him, couldn't help myself from hugging him. I 

wanted to shout to the world how happy I was. I looked down at him, and 

saw his lips had been dried and cracked, and his eyes were red from 

crying. I leaned in, wanting so much to kiss him. 

Just when our lips were inches from each other, he suddenly jerked away 

from me. I must admit that I was hurt, mostly because of the look he 

had on his face. Disgust and wariness. I wanted to ask him so many 

things. To plead with him to accept me. But all I could utter was a 

word, "Why." He shook his head, like he didn't want to tell a horrible 

secret for fear of getting in trouble. "I'm sorry…I can't...not 

now...not yet! Please understand, Yaten…please. I love you, but I just 

can't…you need to know first." If he loved me, then there was no 

problem. What could he probably say to me that could shock me? "Know 

what?!" He seemed to make a decision. He was going to tell me. 

"Know that I'm…a girl." 


	24. Part Twenty-Four

Part 24: Setsuka 

Angry questioning eyes held mine. But it was not the anger in 

Kou Yaten's eyes that made me shiver, but the speckle of hurt I saw in 

those emerald green pools. They called to me, tormenting me and 

refusing to let me go. Why? they asked me. I could feel myself grow 

weak. I couldn't tell him everything that happened...I just couldn't. 

I could feel the tears coming again, but I kept them in. This was no 

time to cry. I still had to explain to him. But what could I say? So 

I told him the whole thing. 

"I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to lie to you, Yaten. It started 

out as a dare from my friend to enter the contest and become one of 

you. I didn't actually think that I would be picked, but when I was, I 

had to live with it, because I didn't know what else I could do. And I 

thought, 'well, this is going to be fun. I will get to go inside the 

lives of idols'. But then I started to fall in love with you, and I..." 

"You just decided that you would lie to me. If you truly loved 

me, then you wouldn't have lied! I trusted you with everything! I told 

you things no one else knew about me, because I trusted you to be 

truthful with me too. But were you? Huh Seiji?" He scoffed. "If 

that's even your name..." 

"My name is Setsuka. Nokito Setsuka." I looked up at him for 

the first time since I looked away after seeing his hurt expression. 

Well, it wasn't that hurt anymore. It was just angry. 

"Well then, Setsuka," he said, emphasizing my name, "you lied to me, 

when I never lied to you. How could you do this to me? If you really 

loved me, then you wouldn't have!" I noticed his eyes were glazed with 

tears, and it just about killed me knowing I had hurt him. 

"I didn't want to lie to you, Yaten," I said between sobs. "But 

I just couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to react like this!" He 

just stared at me. Then finally he spoke. 

"It doesn't matter now. Because that's how I will always react. You're 

just like those other girls. You would do anything to get my 

attention. You're not like Seiji. I don't know you anymore." Every 

word he said seemed to stab at me like a dull knife, and I had a feeling 

he knew it, too. 

He turned and walked away, and I wanted to stop him so badly. 

To just run up to him and hug him, kiss him, tell him how much I loved 

him, and how sorry I was. But I didn't, because I knew he wouldn't 

believe me. Why did I do this to myself? I should have never tried to 

make it work. I should have never have let my fantasies, my feelings 

get in the way. Now we were both hurt...and everything was gone...He was 

gone, and he wouldn't come back to me. So I sat down on the ground and 

cried into the night, cried until I could stay awake no longer.... 

* * 

* 

I woke up to find a man with long dark hair smirking at me. It 

took me a moment to realize that he was pinning me down to the ground 

with his weight. "What have we got here?" he said in a gravelly voice. 

Then he bent down and I screamed as he tried to nibble at my neck and 

mouth. "Eheh, yup, this is definitely a girl." 

"HELP ME!!" I yelled. This man was going to rape me! I could feel my 

clothes rip under his assault, and I screamed louder. He clamped my 

mouth shut with one of his hands. 

Then he felt around my entire body with his free one. I felt 

like I was going to die, and I wanted to, too. Why was this happening 

to me? Please somebody help me... After what seemed like an eternity of 

fighting, I managed to bite the hand that was on my mouth. He screamed 

in pain, and I took the opportunity to get up and run screaming for 

help. But just a few moments after, I was knocked onto the ground 

again. 

"You little wench! How dare you do that! Now I'm going to 

teach you!" Suddenly I heard a loud voice above us. "Let her go now, 

you bastard!" I looked up to see a handsome blonde guy in a white tux 

kick my abuser in the face, throwing him ten feet away from me. A 

beautiful girl with aqua green hair, wearing a blue silk gown emerged 

from the shadows and knelt down beside me. "Don't worry, everything 

will be okay," she said, enclosing my hands with her warm ones. 

I heard a scream of pain, and I knew everything was. She held 

me in her arms, and I felt safe, like an angel was protecting me. 

Exhaustion finally overcame me, and I found myself drifting off... 

* * 

* 

I could not stand it. It was dark, and I could feel hands reach out and 

grab me. No, please...stop. I don't want to go with you! I don't want 

to! Ah! Then I was back on Sunset Rd. and Yaten was glaring at me with 

those eyes. Those angry eyes...And then all of a sudden I was alone 

again. So alone. Like I always had been. I didn't want to be alone 

anymore...Why did I feel this way? 

Then a tall man with thundering voice came again, and started to hit me 

repeatedly. He threw me against the wall, and kept on telling me I 

should behave. That I shouldn't lie. That I should be a good girl and 

do what he tells me to. All I while I kept thinking...Yaten... why aren't 

you here? Why are you letting him do this to me? Yaten...I love you... 

"But no one loves you. You are just a filthy bastard who shouldn't 

live. And I am letting you live only for one reason. So you can see 

what a useless person you are!" NOOOOO!!!! 

This time I woke up to find myself in a soft, but unfamiliar 

bed. I looked around the room. It was painted a shade of light blue, 

and decorated with many beautiful paintings, mostly of the sea. An 

easel was set up against the wall, with an artist's canvas on it. A 

soft melodic sound of wind chimes came from above the balcony. The door 

opened and in walked a masculine looking woman with short blonde hair, 

wearing a tank top and sweat pants. She looked at me, and I recognized 

her as the man from the night before! "Good, you're awake. Are you 

hungry?" 

Before I could answer my stomach decided to growl. But I 

ignored it. All I wanted to do now was see him...What's the point in 

living if he thinks I am a liar? And he was right. I was nothing but a 

filthy liar. Filthy...Why did that oddly fit. And then I remembered just 

how filthy I really was. What that man on the street had done with me. 

I wanted to throw up just thinking about it. And I almost did. 

Groaning, I got off the bed. The girl, whoever she was, looked angry 

and tried to get me back on it. 

"Bathroom..." I muttered. She seemed to understand and grinned sheepishly 

at me. 

"Sorry. I'll take you." 

"No, I want to go alone." 

She gave me a stern look. "You can hardly walk! Do you think I will 

actually let you go anywhere without assistance? Over my dead body!" I 

sighed softly. 

"Can you take me to the bathroom, and I'll go in alone?" She seemed to 

agree to that and in one swift motion, had me in her arms, completely 

carrying with ease. Whoa, did she take steroids or something? Despite 

the haziness of which I lived in at the moment, I couldn't help but 

notice how strong this girl was. 

After we got out of the room and turned a corner, she put me down in 

front of one of the doors and opened in for me. I went inside and ran 

for the nearest toilet. I think I must have thrown up almost everything 

I had eaten in two days. I was glad they had a shower, because it was 

what I needed at the moment. Stepping into the shower, I turned the 

water up as hot as I could stand and just slumped down on the floor, 

letting the steamy water wash away everything that had happened to me. 

Out of the corner of my consciousness, I heard the door opening, but 

didn't pay much attention to it. It must have been at least two hours 

later before I stepped out, and that was only because the water was 

starting to get cold. I hoped they didn't mind that I used up all the 

hot water...how careless of me. I just cluttered up space with my 

uselessness and I ended up wasting electricity too. I looked around and 

folded neatly on top of the toilet seat was a pair of silk pajamas. So 

that was what I had heard. I slipped on the PJ's and stepped out of the 

shower to find the aqua haired girl waiting for me. 


	25. Part Twenty-Five

Part 25: Haruka 

I wondered why the girl Setsuka was so frightened. She looked 

as white as a sheet of paper when I walked in. As I carried her to the 

bathroom, I wondered if she weighed like that by nature, or if it was 

just because she was sick. Either way, I made sure to ask Michiru to go 

check on her. Who knew that she was Neko-chan's friend? It surprised 

me that this girl knew everything about the Senshi. I made a note to be 

a little careful around her. How could they trust her when she had lied 

to them? But then again, who wouldn't trust her? She had an innocent 

aura that matched our princess's. 

I checked the soup Michiru had made earlier to see if it was hot 

enough. Then I ladled some into a bowl and walked to the bedroom with 

it. Halfway there, I saw Michiru and Setsuka standing by the doorway. 

Spotting me, Michiru told me to hurry up and get to where they were. 

After I caught up with them, the three of us went to Michiru's room, 

where Setsuka had slept last night. 

"I don't know what's going on…but..how do you know my name?" she 

asked, confused. Before I could speak, Michiru smiled and answered. 

"You kept on calling out 'Yaten, Yaten', and so we called his apartment 

to see if he knew you," she paused, and turned over to me, brushing some 

sweat from my forehead. I could feel Setsuka blush; probably realizing 

that she had spent all night yelling out that guy's name. I mean, it 

would have embarrassed me for sure. 

Then Michiru continued, "and Seiya-kun happened to answer. He 

told me that Yaten had been out all night, and that he probably wouldn't 

be back until later." This seemed to cause Setsuka's face to fall. 

"When we asked him if he knew who you were, he hesitated a bit before he 

told us of your little…situation. We in turn told him about the little 

incident that happened last night, and he said he'd be over as soon as 

possible in the morning, so he should be here any minute now." 

We were both a bit astounded when Seiya told us that, but then 

again lots of surprising things have happened in our lives, so this 

wasn't all that much. We decided that if she weren't so important to 

them, Seiya wouldn't have been that concerned about her like that. I 

held up the bowl. It took us a long time before we could coax her to 

eat anything, though. And even then it was hard. She reached out to 

take the bowl. It was hot, and I knew that she needed to rest. She 

didn't look like she could do anything at that moment but swallow, so I 

held it back from her. 

"I'm feeding you. No way are you going to eat this by 

yourself. Just enjoy the food." I looked at Michiru to see if she 

would get angry, and she just smiled encouragingly at me. So I tried to 

feed the spoonful of soup to the girl in front of us. All of a sudden, 

she started to cry. Tears just began rolling down her cheeks. 

"Wha…what's wrong?!" I asked. Man…this was going to be harder than I 

expected. All she did was mutter something that sounded like "Yaten". 

I wasn't really sure though. 

Michiru scooted to her side and hugged her. I had to admit, I didn't 

really like that. "Hush, sweetie," she said softly. "Don't cry. It's 

going to be all right." 

"Is it?" I heard her say between sobs. "I don't think it will…because" 

another sob, "I'm just a useless person…no on loves me!" With that, she 

erupted into another long series of sobs, until I was sure the T-shirt 

Michiru had borrowed from me was soaked from her tears. 

Okay, note to self; no feeding. Whatever that damned jerk had said to 

her, he should've been ashamed of himself for making her cry like that! 

Michiru looked up and smiled ruefully. "Since she isn't in any 

condition to eat something without choking herself, I think you better 

stay here with her, love, while I take the food outside. I have to make 

a call to Usagi-chan." 

I nodded. When I first took Setsuka into my arms, I thought she felt 

limp, like she was asleep, but looking closer, I realized she was 

actually wide awake, clutching to me like I was a lifeline. I glanced 

back at Michiru with an apologetic look. She smiled her sweet smile and 

nodded. I couldn't help but smile back. Bringing Setsuka onto my lap, 

I gently stroked her hair. Hey, it worked when Michiru had a cold. No 

reason why it shouldn't work with her. Finally, the girl fell asleep in 

my arms. 

The doorbell rang then. "Haruka love! Could you get that please? I am 

kind of busy at the moment…" Michiru called from the kitchen. I heard 

her return to her conversation with Neko-chan. I gently placed Setsuka 

down on the bed, and raced to answer the door. The worried face of a 

tall brunette greeted me. "Ohaiyo, Haruka-san. Is Setsuka-chan all 

right?" Makoto asked me, with concern in her voice. I nodded. "She 

cried a whole lot though. 

Makoto nodded back. "We figured that would happen. Taiki told Ami that 

Yaten didn't come home until four o'clock this morning, and he slammed 

and threw almost anything and everything he could find," she winced as 

she said this. I rolled my eyes. That guy had a higher temperament 

that me! But I still couldn't see how he could be mad at someone like 

Setsuka. Not that I liked her in any special way…I mean, I have my 

Michiru… 

I opened the door wider so that Makoto could enter, and then led her to 

Michiru's room, where Setsuka lay asleep just as I had left her. Makoto 

sat down on the bed beside Setsuka, and touched her shoulder lightly. 

Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled upon seeing the other girl. 

"Suka-chan? Hey, are you all right? We were all worried about you when 

you didn't come home with…" she trailed off, realizing who's name she 

was about to say, then covered her mouth and winced again. "I'm so 

sorry. I didn't…" 

Setsuka put one finger to her mouth and smiled weakly. "It's okay. I 

understand," she said softly. 

Mako still looked guilty. "If you understand, then why are your eyes so 

watery?" she asked the other girl, distraught. Setsuka smiled. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be sad. It's just…I hurt him so badly…He's 

never going to speak to me again…" her voice cracked, and she burst into 

tears. 

"Come, I think we better go home now. You don't have any clothes, and 

you just recovered. You're still very weak. You need to be home." 

Setsuka shook her head. "No," she said through her tears, "I'm not 

going back there. It's not my home anymore…Like he said, I'm not 

Seiji. He doesn't know me. And if he doesn't know me…then I don't know 

myself." 


	26. Part Twenty-Six

Part Twenty-Six: Yaten

            I stared through the glass of my ceiling, and watched as the

purple pinkish clouds turned dark, allowing the stars to come into

view.  I still couldn't believe that he, no, she had lied to me.  I

trusted her, trusted her with all my heart.  I loved her!  But she lied

to me.  She deceived me!

            I could not bear to think about Seiji, or rather Setsuka, as

she had called herself, because it brought the pain back with doubled

intensity.  I eyed the only painting that hung on my otherwise bare

wall.  It was the painting of the heaven and sea that Seiji and I had

done together on his... Oh why do I keep on doing that!? The painting we

had done on HER first day of school.

It had seemed like a work of art then, but now it was only another

weapon that was trying to stab at my heart.  I walked over and ran a

hand over the tiny stars and the rolling clouds that seemed to come

alive with memories as I touched them.  I remembered how clumsy I had

been, and if Seiji hadn't guided my

hand to do the right strokes, I would have never been able to create

such a beautiful imagery of the sea.  Without the wind in the sky, the

sea will cease its movement.

I sighed.  Why the hell couldn't I seem to get her off my mind?  She

wasn't the person I loved.  She was not Seiji.  She probably didn't even

understand how I feel about fangirls.  I mean, she was the worse of

all!  A fangirl that went to major extremes to get close to us.  I hate

those kinds of people.

So why couldn't I seem to hate her?  Why did I love her even more and

more whenever I thought about the way she cared for me, and the way she

did that cute little dependent thing when she was on the wheelchair.

How she smiled at me when I fed her the tomato soup and told her stories

about my travels, and how

she frowned and cried with me as I remembered my past.  This mature,

understanding person was actually a teenage girl.  A fangirl.  How I

wished it wasn't so.

I went back to the bed, and looked up at the night sky, spotting a

familiar constellation.  "Look! It's Orion!  Don't you just love

stars?  They are so

beautiful, like crystals in the sky, shimmering for all time.  I wish I

could shine like them.."

"Did you only want to be like a superficial star, Setsuka?  Did you

just want to become famous?  Why did you have to ruin everything by

telling me? Why do I still love you?"  How did she come so unsuspectingly into my

life?  And why do I keep hearing her voice saying "Yaten! Please.  I

love you, but I just can' t... ¦you need to know first!"


	27. Part Twenty-Seven

Part Twenty-Seven: Yaten and Setsuka…

Setsuka:

         The wind caused to me to shiver slightly, and I sighed.  The sunset looked so beautiful, and as I bathed in the warm rays, I reminisced all the afternoons him and I had gone up here on this cliff.  The last time we went, I was still in the wheelchair, and he had set up a little picnic, carrying me out of it and setting me the old blanket he had gotten.  We ate and talked until it was time to watch the sunset.  He would carry me back onto the wheelchair, and push me over to see the clear view.  

         All that was over now.  He hates me now. He trusted me to be his friend, his companion, and he even admitted that he loved me.  But I lied to him.  How could I lie to him?  

         I walked to the edge of the cliff, and felt the tears I had been trying to stop flowing freely, not even bothering to listen to how I might feel.  I brushed them away.  I could not bear to think that he hated me.  I would have rather died than to not have him in my life.   Looking over the cliff's edge, I saw the waves splashing viciously at the jagged rocks below, and I felt a sense of peace.  Another tear slid down my cheek, and this time, I did not brush it away.  What was the use?  I closed my eyes, smelling the air, and basking in the yellow-orange rays.  

         "Setsuka!" I heard a voice yell.  It was familiar, and even before I turned around to see his figure running towards me, I knew it was Yaten.  I suddenly felt weak.  Maybe it was from joy.  Maybe it was from exhaustion.  He ran faster towards me, and I wanted to answer back his call.  He looked so panicked…  But I could not.. I was too weak. 

         I managed a smile before I felt my body give and topple over the edge of the cliff.  It seemed an eternity of falling, and I could hear his voice calling me again, but this time it was faint, like it was calling from far away.  Then there was a splash and all was silent.

Yaten:

         Numb. That was how I felt.  Numb.  I couldn't bring myself to believe that this was happening to me. 

         "Setsuka!" I cried.  She couldn't be dead; she just couldn't!  How could she have left me?  Seiji left me, and now she's gone too.  Setsuka.. Seiji.. They were both gone.  They had both left me.  I felt as if someone had splashed a bucket of ice-cold water onto my face and my pride was hurt.  

          forgave her.  I came here to find her, to tell her how much I loved her; and still do love her.  But she didn't forgive me for being the jerk I had been.  She denied me the one person I loved the most.  The one person I truly needed.  How could she have?

         "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!?"

         Then I cried.  Me, Yaten; who has never cried for anyone but my princess; I cried like a baby.  I cried so hard that I collapsed on the ground, and still I cried.  Setsuka….

         "Gone…"

Epilogue:

         Seiya and the rest of the Senshi found Yaten later on the cliff, still unconscious.  They carried him back to the apartment, and when he woke, he refused to say anything for a few hours.  Finally, after earning a hard slap in the face from Usagi, he broke down and told then about wha happened.

         They searched for seven days of any clues to where Setsuka's body had drifted off to, but found nothing.  This lured Yaten even further into the state of depression.  He tried to kill himself ("To join her..") but did not succeed, and finally came to his senses when a fan yelled into his face about how "Your Lost Love" would not have wanted him to be that way.  And so…

                                                                       *  *  * 

         Yaten stared at the picture he took with the other three Shooting Stars.  He felt peaceful, and his mind wandered to the events that happened more than a year ago.  The images played in his head like a sad soap opera, and he sighed.  He still missed her after all this time.  Whenever he thought about her, it was like tiny little needles pricking his soul.  

         Yes, it has been a year since Setsuka's death, and no one talked about her any longer.  Usagi still cries every time she comes to their apartment to find "Seiji's" room empty; but no one speaks of his "lost love", and as he tucked the framed picture underneath his clothes in the suitcase, Yaten finally uttered the words his heart had been yearning to say.  

         "I'm sorry Setsuka… I still love you.."

                                                   The End…

                                                                         Or is it?


End file.
